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Bois Locker Room : The Bigger Controversy Is What We Have Chosen To Ignore

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Off late we had very disturbing Instagram chats shared via social media of “bois locker room”. A lot of people have given their opinions about them, ranted on social media and news channel debates but hardly anyone speaks of the root cause of the problem. The only method of solving a problem is to assess the root cause, accept the problem, and then work on it.

Let’s talk about Personality. What creates a personality? Personality can be summed up as a combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character. How is it influenced? It is influenced by the society we live in, nature around us, nurturing of parents, and the person’s exposure to media and his social circle.

Now, what would have led boys between the age of 14-18 to share photos and body shame girls of their age, treat them as objects to the extent that they think of raping them! Such thinking of a teenager is very dangerous for society. Especially for a country like India where 65% of the population is under 30. What causes such thinking? According to me, these are as follows:

1. Exposure to Media:

Just like our physique is a result of what we eat, our personality and thinking is the sum of all the media we consume. Be it the books we read, the shows, movies, and even the music we listen to. It is very important to know what is part of our “mental diet”. In the Advertisement industry, ads that run the most usually emphasize sex appeal or emotional appeal. Excessive use of sex appeal could also be seen in the Music and Entertainment industry, especially in the recent online web series. Desperate Youtubers use vulgar/ sexual content as clickbait. We have movies and songs that openly objectify women and whenever such an act happens we take it in jest saying oh that’s just for entertainment. Hardly do we realize how deep impact does it put on society.

2. Pornography:

Ted Bundy, was one of the most dreaded rapists and psycho killers the US had ever seen. He openly said in his last interview before being executed that his crimes should be a warning of the dangers of pornography, he said his addiction to hardcore pornography was one of the reasons that led him to commit such heinous crimes. There have been numerous researches that exhibit that porn watching is addictive just like any other drug and has serious effects on mental health.

Some might say that it is the source of sex education and is just natural for a teen to indulge in to release stress. Please do your research, it’s not sex education at all, and there are better ways to release that “stress”. Most of the rapists and sexual offenders are found to be hardcore violent porn addicts. Unfortunately, we are amongst the top countries with porn viewership. It’s a billion-dollar industry that doesn’t care about you. But we can surely spread the message?

 

3. Social Structure and Family

The social structure of an individual plays the most important role in the formation of a youth’s personality, especially in the teenage years. The people he talks to, teachers, family members, friends, and even the social media stars and celebrities one follow play an important role.

It should be the responsibility of parents to guide them through the teen years. They should know what their child is up to and know well about his social circle. The motive is not to police them, but to guide them towards the right path. They should always be available for them, make them indulge in productive activities, inculcate moral values, and help them grow as a person.

4. Sex Education

It is quite unfortunate that we are the world’s 2nd largest population and still we hush while talking about sex. More unfortunate being that children often get to know about it from the wrong sources and that’s what leads to the problem. Parents must ensure that they talk about it openly before they learn it from the wrong sources. Schools also have a major responsibility in this.

 

Combating such a mentality takes a collective effort of the society as a whole, and that happens by talking about it! No more brushing things under the carpet. People reading this article might think, oh what can I do about it? How can I do my part? Well, you can guide your younger siblings, friends, and acquaintances!

You can even share this article with the maximum number of people you know so that the message is well spread across people. Your one share might bring a huge difference in someone’s life. We all have a collective responsibility in ensuring that such instances are not repeated again and our youth is inclined in the right direction.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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