In this article, I will share a personal story that I was a witness to.
She was my cousin’s wife. I rarely met the couple but one day, I got to know about their divorce proceedings and the torture against my cousin. There were whispers about the possible factors for domestic violence like the new bride being immature and unable to do household chores and did not act as per their expectations. He later ‘trapped ‘ her again after years of separation and court proceedings into signing a reconciliation statement and withdrawal of the domestic violence case.
Sparing her a settlement amount or calling it the girl’s right under the laws of the land, he became a Sub-divisional Magistrate amidst all this. Post-riddance of the violent accusation, he recently married a much younger woman. His ex-wife went into depression, cried and fought court proceedings, endlessly. Now, who is going to compensate for the years of anxiety, pain for her and her family besides legal expenses?
Why Was A Need For Domestic Violence Act Felt?
The point here is that domestic violence is a reality that is ignored and normalized. That’s why the social honour of the family, incidentally my relatives, in this case, is intact and someone else got their daughter married to this guy after all this. Exactly what we just witnessed in Thappad, a recent Bollywood film.
The widespread crime-cum-social evil came into focus, in the 1970s, in India post a women rights campaign on various issues addressing the elephant in the room. It was the custom of ‘bride burning ‘ that set the course for insertion of section 498A into the Indian penal code.
It included mental harassment, abetment to suicide, and harassment for dowry besides physical violence making it a powerful legal breakthrough for lakhs of women in the country.
However, despite the newfound legal wings, the flight of women’s rights couldn’t do much and the ‘Protection of Domestic Violence act 2005 had to be enacted. It provided a whole set of civil remedies and rights to protection for the survivor. It, perhaps, reaffirmed what my mother thinks is a big factor in the perpetuation of such a grave crime or the patrilocal nature of marriages.
It’s the question of how a married woman survives to post the disruption of her marriage. A low women labour force participation rate in India again adds to this fear of what happens next if ‘this’ comes out. This was addressed in the new law.
Also, saving a marriage is considered to be the sole responsibility of women. Violence within the confines of the safest haven – her home, be it natal or matrimonial from the most intimate relationships of blood, marriage, and live-in- is the price. I believe it’s the larger patriarchy that’s the root cause of the ‘normalization’ of violence of all degrees ranging from the physical violence of all degrees, sexual, mental, emotional, and economic ( PWDWA widens this scope ).
It’s The Patriarchy That Still Reinforces ‘Dismissing’ Women’s Cases
It’s the systemic oppression for centuries that domestic violence has persisted all over the world amidst debates of development, GDP, and Artificial Intelligence! It’s probably the patriarchy that politically, legally, and socially negates the acknowledgement of ‘marital rapes ‘, a predominant form of domestic sexual violence in India.
Rape is rape and it should be a crime, whosoever the perpetrator may be. The devastated suffocated existence many women in India have, in my opinion, is too glaring to ignore when their perpetrator is living under the same roof and is their spouse.
Flavia Agnes, in her article, exhorts the political attention towards the ground reality citing the hurdles in finding feet, justice, and normalcy back for the survivors. Underreporting, low conviction rates and improper and lackadaisical approach of the system were again brought to the front in the article.
There are several women like Anita George and Divya that Agnes discussed whose cases are dismissed, counted as ‘false’ or forgotten. Also, the sheer incidence of domestic violence, despite underreporting, among women predominantly shows why the domestic violence laws still focus on women only.
It’s a long war ahead with the challenges of societal mindsets, patriarchal social conditioning where both women and men think it’s okay to be beaten or beat. We can’t ignore the prevalence of survivors and perpetrators among LGBTQ when they aren’t even recognized by the law and their marriages are illegal as well. We can’t justify the violence of any degree with men, either.
Institutional and social neglect, empty political ‘women empowerment‘ talks when marital rapes are pushed under the ‘sanctity ‘ of marriage, is to be corrected first, before expanding the scope of domestic violence laws.