Remembering My Friend Who Has Left For Her Heavenly Abode

Dear Aahi,

The evening of 8th Feb, 2020 continues to haunt me, for it took away the colours of my life. I was studying in my room, when I got the melancholic news of your death over a phone call . My face felt flat, my heart fell to my stomach & I looked over at my friend sitting next to me. I just stared at her & froze. It was the first time in my 25 years on this earth that I actually felt like my heart was outside of my body & running away from me. It was devastating & shattered every bit of me inside.

It is hard to believe that a girl who is just in her 20’s, fit & fine, who went to SKIMS  just for a cosmetic plastic surgery to hide a mark on her neck & came back from the hospital, dead. You were so sure to get the surgery done in just a few hours that you refused to take anybody from your family along, except your aunt . I fail to fathom how  a cosmetic surgery could take a life?  How could you leave this world at such a young age? It doesn’t seem fair to me.

For me, it was a  critical case of medical negligence. I could picture myself, with those doctors as butchers wearing a white apron & cutting down your dreams, hopes & aspirations into pieces. You were so full of life. I could never imagine anything taking away your smile, your laugh or your ability to fight through life’s every obstacle. You didn’t live a second where your presence didn’t inspire another person.

It was devastating for all our close & extended circle of friends to realise that you are not with us anymore.We will meet tomorrow but we will never meet with the same enthusiasm as we used to. Death is unfathomable, especially when it strikes someone who had an unfinished life. Unexpected grief is horrid & immeasurable. The world for you & the world between us had come to an abrupt end. The thought of your death brought back painful memories that we shared & the regret that you left with a million dreams unfulfilled. At your grave, we were all silent.

The deafening silence that we adorned meant that we understood how broken we were & how our emotions needed to stay unexplained. You died with dreams & aspirations still left within you. But it is shocking to imagine that all your dreams & aspirations were young like your young body. They died with you, like you, young & unfulfilled.

Over the last 6 months of our preparation for civil services, we had developed a very strong bond together  & would  often share  our problems, our  dreams, our ambitions & aspirations  in the field out there, beyond the ideas of right doings & wrong doings. The fact that you won’t be around anymore has created an indescribable hollowness inside me  & it may take a long time for me to fill that void. Until it is my turn perhaps. With you I have lost not only a friend but also a part of me. How could I ever accept your loss, my friend? This grief of yours stuns me. Rest in peace, Aahiba!

Jaate hue kehte ho qayamat ko milenge , kya khoob! qayamat ka hai goya koi din aur!  

With love,

Sohail