Time has a way of blurring memories and perhaps is known as the biggest healer.
The moments we remember from our childhood are precious to us. Often, we love those gatherings where we flip the old photo books and spend hours in relishing those times. Going through the old photographs certainly bring back the usual living room joy, and moments spent together. However, amid all these family times together, we generally overlook those things which are hidden under the carpets for so many years.
Recently, we came across a high social media buff with so many individuals alarming the society about a shocking incident involving a group chat of teenaged boys making obscene comments and exchanging private pictures of girls in their vicinity. The situation looks grim and generated immediate reactions from many stakeholders across the country. Within a short time, the teenagers were detained, and the difference of opinion took social media by storm.
Now, if we try and evaluate this situation, this is not the first time that Indian society has witnessed this. Although the case like ‘Bois Locker room’ was pulled up explosively, there are millions of stories which the Indian society neglects in the apparent showcasing of culture and society ethics. The rooted sexism and toxic masculinity are taken as ‘customary’ practice. The arguments are not limited to male dominance and the relations to misogyny, but also in the case of positive upbringing, women should also be held equally responsible for rooting the objectifying babble among their children.
Teenage is the most awkward growth stage of one’s life. During this time, teens are exposed to so many physical and mental struggles. The puberty hits them hard and their social outlook makes them cautious of their personality which is evolving every day. The conditions become highly stressful and leave them with great signs of depression and create a room for self-doubt and cynicism. The one thing which lasts for long with teenagers is the memory which they collect in this age.
For years, we have seen Indian families carrying the violent misogynistic behaviour as the series of rituals which are then clearly passed to the teenagers. The casual gender roles sniggering and complete ignorance to the sex education are the starting points of a spectrum of behaviour that then runs among the first available group of friends and then takes up as a frightening proportion in the society. The great secrets of the families are swiftly swept under the carpets.
Child abuse, harmonic demands, the disempowerment of females in the families and adolescent sexuality are a few areas of concern which barely takes the centre of discussion in Indian families. Such affairs are usually ignored by the adults who believe in the cultural norms of not making it explicit as it may increase the embarrassing moments count inside the house. The worst impacted teenagers are those who have inattentive parents. Guardians are rarely able to realize the time and empathy they need to invest in their children.
As a general rule, the time passes by and starts leaving impressions on a child’s mind. The daily life collections from their family, force them to live in illusions. At times, they carry the baggage of guilt or anxiety for years and in bizarre situations, this also leads to the unprecedented rage against different state of affairs. Both men and women tend to acquire differing traits. At times, men are seen thumping their masculinity on the streets with women and parallelly women are observed falling into the vicious circle of objectifying other women.
The teenage comes with different struggles but does the complete life after ‘nineteen’ depends on one’s actions done during these tricky years? In our society, with the growing availability of social platforms, it has become much easier to alarm the misdeed but then it’s equally difficult to envision the later results for this. Indian society needs to sweep out the hidden secrets from the thick carpets of ignorance and requires healthy discussions. The conversations need to begin within our families, in our living rooms while not just recalling the joyful moments spent in the past.
Time is the biggest healer and a widely acceptable pedagogue.