Dear mummy,
A few months back our teacher asked us, what would we like to be in our next birth. One answer that stood out among all the students was “I want to be my mom’s mother so that I can love her as much as she has cared and for loved me.” This girl won applause and appreciation, defining what love is. I realised I would love to do the same. Though I know I would never be able to do even half of what you do for me.
I know mom, I don’t tell you often, but you are my lifeline. Remember the time when I never stepped out of the house without you? Everyone would mock me, calling me names and a coward. But you know I was never a coward, I was just not ready to leave your side. I felt I would never be the same without you. I have always kept your judgments above my intuition and wisdom and I am proud of that.
I have always felt that you are the best mom anyone in the world can ever get. You are my inspiration, my role model, and my hero. The way you handle the whole house, my grandparents, run your small business, teach my siblings, care for the housemaids, read, learn new things, make delicious food, etc, etc,( the list is endless) make me wonder what has God made you off. I have never seen you give up ever, and now I think I know why I am so stubborn in my work. I get that source of will power and strength from you.
I remember my 20th birthday in that alien city when no one remembered my birthday, but a single phone call from you in the morning was uncomparable to any surprise party or gifts. I also remember the time when I had the first fight with you. That was a for a boy who I had come across. I had cried for the whole day then, vowing never to fight with you again. I swear I try to follow it since then.
Mom, so why is it that I am unable to follow that vow now? Why is it that your love for society has overpowered your love for me. Why is that the guy who the society thinks is fit for me is being picked by you even though you know he is not right for me.
Why are you giving up now mom? Why do you ask me to step out all covered, when you know I love skirts and you said I looked best in them. Why do you want me to stop working and settle down when you yourself said once that I am talented and I should never let anyone crush my dream?
Why do you keep advocating traditional societal norms for me when you only always said that my pragmatism and unbiased judgment is my biggest strength. Why mom, why? Why don’t you trust me anymore? Do you too feel that I don’t love you anymore? Or I can ever deceive you? I would never, because this is the truth that I can never ever achieve anything without your help and you know that.
I know my words would never suffice for what you mean to me, maybe these couplets would.
एक बुरा सपना जब देखकर उठु
डरी सहमी सी विचलित सी रहूं
मैं सुरक्षित हू तेरे पास
यह आश्वासन पाने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे आँचल मे रोने का मन करता है.
माँ तेरे गोद मे सोने का मन करता है.
लड़कियाँ मुझे चिढ़ाती है,बात बात पर सताती है
कोई नहीं होता उनसे बचाने वाला,
उनकी कपटी नज़रों से चुराने वाला
मैं रो कर जब घर को आउ
सर पर प्यार भरे स्पर्श पाने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे आँचल मे रोने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे गोद मे सोने का मन करता है.
परेशान हो गई हूँ लोगो के तानो से
अपने नम्रता के बदले उपेक्षा पाने से
कड़वे वचन बोलने वाले बहुत है यहा,
उन्हे हर बार मानने से
प्यार भरे शब्दो के जवाब मे प्यार पाने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे आँचल मे रोने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे गोद मे सोने का मन करता है.
रात को तक कर जब घर को आउ
दुनिया के झंझटों से लड़ कर जब अओ
तुझी से मेरा जीवन है, तू ही मेरी जीवन रेखा,
तुझे पास बैठा कर यह बताऊं
ऐसे एहसास के पल पाने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे आँचल मे रोने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे गोद मे सोने का मन करता है.
तू सच्ची है बेटा, सच्ची ही रहना
दुनिया के मायाजाल से बचके तू रहना
मैं हू तेरे साथ, हर कदम , हर पल, डट के तू रहना
ये सुकून के शब्द फिर से सुनने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे आँचल मे रोने का मन करता है
माँ तेरे गोद मे सोने का मन करता है.
You turning away from me could be the worst thing that can happen to me. So please never do that. You can scold me, or say me things that you might not even intend. But never ever give up on me. You are my lifeline mom and without you, I will never survive. I miss you and love you. Thank you for existing.
Your,
Divya