This incident happened in June 2019. My family friend’s daughter decided to pursue a regular degree from my college. I was inspired by her. At 25, after a drop of 7 years and simultaneously fulfilling her family responsibilities, she decided to study. She also financed her college fees. Seeing her braving all odds, I decided to motivate her and stand with her in this important time of her life.
I understand the importance of education and was happy for her. I was her well-wisher and prayed to God every day for her. Whenever she came home after the exam, I asked about the exam. Whenever she felt low, I used to motivate her just to ensure she remains optimistic. Her willingness to study and defying age barriers to learning had a huge impact on me. Whenever the admission list came and she didn’t find her name in it, I just told her to remain positive. All went good till September.
On the night of September 15, her long-awaited wish finally got fulfilled and she got admission. But this time things were different. I didn’t feel happy for her. Instead, there was something that made me feel bad. Initially, I termed it ‘possessiveness for my college’. But it was more than that. I started feeling negative about it. I took everything negatively- whatever she said and did. Later, I came to know about her partner.
He not only supported her but stood by her through thick and thin. This fuelled my negative attitude toward her. I started avoiding the person who I respected. I would get frustrated whenever I saw her and blocked her on WhatsApp, I couldn’t study and considered her my bad luck. Two months back, I started feeling guilty about what I was doing. I was never the person who would think bad for anyone. I felt upset. I stopped talking to her and gave her a cold vibe. My best friend also supported me in this telling me that I was right.
Thankfully, I realized that this was becoming serious and that it could impact me in a negative way. When I was looking at the ways to overcome this, I saw my friend’s status on WhatsApp which said #itsoktotalk. I finally found a way. I called her and told her everything. It was easy for me to open to her because of her friendly nature and progressive thinking.
She told me that it’s okay to have this feeling. After listening and talking to her, I realized how important it is to remain mentally healthy. After accepting things, I feel healed and relaxed. She told me to accept the things instead of avoiding them. She motivated me to face my problem. From that moment, I decided that from now on I will face my problems and overcome them. I have decided that I will spread awareness about mental health and help people in every way possible. This is my personal experience. I realised a few days ago how it was a mental issue and how much it affected me.