The Saga Of Pain-Shaming
“It doesn’t even hurt that much. Stop asking for everyone’s attention!”
Many women have heard this sentence at least once in their lifetime while they were menstruating. Menstrual pain is a phenomenon which is very common in menstruating people and is quite acceptable in the socio-cultural realm of contemporary societies.
With stigma and the very phenomenon of menstruation, menstrual pain is one of the very few aspects shared by menstruating women. But even in this similarity, there exist several variations. A study conducted by the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI) suggests that for 10 out of 100 women, menstrual pain is so extreme that they are unable to carry out day-to-day activities.
“I have some friends who cannot even move for the first day of their menstrual cycle.”
Research and mainstream media substantiate the conclusion that experiences of menstrual pain are highly subjective in nature. Some women have a really heavy flow and intense cramps, whereas some have a really smooth and, relatively less painful cycle. Similarly, even the duration of menstruation cycles varies immensely in the general population.
Such experiences can have adverse effects on mental health, especially those in their developmental years. A study suggests that women and adolescents have a higher tendency to be adversely affected by shaming, and such instances can often manifest into depression and anxiety. Menstrual shaming in developmental years can often result in body image issues, anxiety, depression, self-hatred and can drastically reduce one’s self-confidence and self-esteem.
How? It makes women believe that they are abnormal and affects their sense of belongingness.
“The atmosphere of support and understanding that exists in my class regarding menstruation is truly the best thing ever!” said Diksha Jawa, a psychology student studying in an all-girls institution.
And what happens when menstruating women are unable to find such cohort systems?
Sociology Of The Binary
While it is considered ‘acceptable’ for men not to understand what women go through – this brings us to an even bigger problem that exists in our society.
A study that involved questioning young boys aged 13-17 years from three Indian states revealed the following realities of how men perceive menstruation:
- A minority of them thought of menstruation to be a disease.
- They were keen to obtain more knowledge about menstruation as their textbooks weren’t sufficient.
- Many were sympathetic towards their female friends and wanted to support them.
- Menstruation for long has been seen as a women’s issue, and men are often not involved in spaces that are meant to create awareness regarding menstruation. In educational spaces, boys are often not educated about menstruation.
“There used to be specific sessions in my school only for girls and we weren’t even told the location of the room those sessions were conducted in.”
Discussions around menstruation in educational and family spaces are often preceded by segregation of boys and girls. For example, a mother will educate her daughter about what she is going to experience but will probably not bother teaching her son. Such segregation results in the idea that men cannot engage in discourses around menstruation.
The Need For Educating Men
What’s worse? Boys are left with close to no sources to obtain information about this phenomenon and educate themselves, other than myths and stereotypes. With no reliable information, men often become insensitive or resentful towards the idea of menstruation.
Take the example of a boy called Sahil who doesn’t know anything about menstruation. He probably doesn’t understand the cramps his female friend has to go through, the irritability of his sister and that his mother is getting annoyed as she is probably going through menopause. But his unawareness isn’t the only problem. Going through all these instances without knowing their cause can make Sahil resentful towards all these individuals. In a later stage, such experiences might make insensitive towards women.
Conclusion
This isn’t just the case with Sahil, millions of boys go through the same experiences in their childhood and become men who are insensitive towards the idea of menstruation and often, parliamentarians who believe sanitary pads should be classified as luxury items.
The only way to create sensitivity regarding menstruation in contemporary societies is through education, empathy and inclusion and without these, activism around menstruation will continue to fail its target beneficiaries.
The author is a part of the current batch of the #PeriodParGyan Writer’s Training Program