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Do All Lives Really Matter?: How We Mourn Human Lives In This Country Is Telling

In the last few weeks amid the global pandemic, the death of two ‘much-loved actors’ from the Hindi movie industry has left the whole country mourning over this as a national loss. On the other hand, the death of several migrant labourers killed either due to road accidents, hunger, sunstroke or other health issues while walking back to their home States never caused a national furore. They did make their way to the headlines of some newspapers, but that’s all.

They were sympathised by many, but their deaths did not leave the country shattered. Similarly, the death of a queer person Anjana Hareesh from Kerala in the following week as a result of violence allegedly perpetrated by her homophobic family members and mental health professionals hardly made it to any headlines, barring a few tokenistic gestures.

These incidents over the last few weeks have prompted us to think why some communities, including migrant labourers, Dalits and the LGBTQIA+ are not considered worthy of grieving, or not grieved like others? One of the ways in which the grieving of such lives, or the lack thereof, can be done by analysing how people make sense of the loss of their loved ones.

There are two ways of grieving over the death of someone: good grieving and queer grieving. Good grieving is socially-dictated ritualistic grieving done in public or private, but is recognised and acknowledged by others. For example, someone’s death mourned in a heteronormative family is approved by social and legal institutions. On the other hand, queer grieving does/can not conform to the ritualistic mode of grieving; instead, it is done in diverse ways, sometimes unrecognised by social and legal institutions.

One such example is the death of an intimate partner in a same-sex relationship whose mourning is delegitimised by others, by labelling it not ‘real grieving’ because their relationship itself is not recognised as a real relationship. Death of a queer person — who either kills themselves because of some systemic violence exerted onto them in a homophobic society or falls prey to hate crime — often goes unrecognised. Such deaths, however, result in bereavement among close friends, ‘family of choice’, and the queer community, and it seldom generates public empathy.

Similarly, though the death of migrant labourers or manual scavengers as a result of the failure of a State in ensuring the dignity of labour or safe workspaces is often grieved by family members, it is not mourned by the public at large. Such marginalised bodies hardly receive any compassion. Instead, they are subjected to a lot of antipathy. For example, in the case of Anjana Hareesh from Kerala, some people also went on to tweet that a simple girl turned into a feminist and killed herself.

Her persecution by the hands of a Psychology discipline, which still blatantly offers ‘conversion therapy’, was discussed by many people as an unfortunate death because of indoctrination into an ideology. Most of the time, such individuals are never grieved because of their marginal social position and erasure by a State that accounts for them as an unworthy and ‘bad’ citizenry.

This also encourages us to discuss the potential of queer grieving. The death of a professor, Ramchandra Siras — who was subjected to systemic homophobic surveillance in an educational institution and later found dead in his residence after fighting a lengthy legal battle — caused a nationwide commotion and is often cited as an example of blatant homophobia, including in the legal fight to read down Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

Similarly, the suicide of Dalit scholar Rohit Vemula in the University of Hyderabad, who fell prey to a casteist educational system in the particular and discriminatory State, also gave way to a more organised fight against the establishment. These are some of the productive possibilities of grieving queer individuals that lead to a movement against an oppressive system that not only delegitimised such bodies, but also denied their loved ones to mourn their death.

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  1. Kaira Gupta

    High time someone stood up for us people who are a part of the queer community, and other minorities. Thankyou and yes, exceptionally written

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

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With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

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She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

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A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

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A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

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