Before I learnt why women have breasts, I learnt that women are objectified for having them. Before I learnt that all women have stretch marks, I learnt that they are undesirable. And, before I learnt that menstruation is a regular aspect of being a woman, I learnt that girls not attending school regularly or at all is acceptable.
In all of the scenarios, I never felt the need to ask my parents or peers any questions, after all the message was loud and clear: Only women who are of use to or attractive to others are valid. So before I could learn about breasts and vaginas, I learnt about the intangible organs like family’s honour, society’s dignity and a man’s pleasure sexually or otherwise.
And before we blame said family, society or man, I say we blame the media. After all, it was not a boy that told me I was made to please him but the 20,000 adverts from deodorant adverts targeting those boys.
On one end actresses are proclaimed boldly for doing item songs and hailed for calling it a choice, on the opposite end of the spectrum, are our female leaders and politicians who get slut-shamed for wearing jeans (in the case of Malala Yousufsai).
Furthermore, in the case of Indian female politicians, they are sexualised, leered at and reduced to white noise by their contemporaries and peers at the slightest hint of the fact that they are women and that undeniable fact is considered their weakness.
In 2019 when the first-ever advert on pads and other menstrual products showing red blood instead of the usual blue liquid aired in Australia following the footsteps of its British counterpart the backlash was immediate. It was considered a woman’s private business, deemed inappropriate for children for it led to their sexualisation, showing women bleeding is wrong and so many others to the point of becoming one of the most complained about advertisements.
You won’t see American Pie, Grand Masti or any ‘sex comedy’ gaining such a reaction with the audience and lawmakers mum on it to the point it is a thriving genre. But when it comes to the portrayal of women genuinely, it is suddenly disgusting, vulgar or inappropriate for children to see women reduced to the pedestal of an actual human being or raised beyond to one instead of being a goddess or sex object.
In India, a common trend amongst many ads related to menstrual products involves focusing on how by wearing the product advertised, you will turn into superwoman. This lens is not just grossly false but also highly pressure inducing for women.
Periods aren’t a speck of blue liquid that an overpriced and over-taxed pad can collect. They include blood and clots, mild to extreme physical pain, sweating, fever, mental and emotional upheaval, and so many more symptoms each varying across women.
By not acknowledging these aspects of menstruation, we manage to exclude almost every woman from the conversation. This perspective eventually caters to a prejudiced society, by delivering the message that periods are nothing but a minor glitch but don’t worry women will be back to being exemplary as long as you buy our products.
Campaigns like ‘touch the pickle‘ are pushing boundaries and addressing taboos. Still, at the end of the day by reducing it to ‘just blood‘, we manage to showcase only the tip of the iceberg with a much more significant and needed chunk of the conversation submerged into the dark.
The intention is to always normalise menstruation to a society scared of ‘just blood’. Still, it also ends up pushing women to buy the same narrative even when their bodies tell them otherwise.
I would be remiss not to acknowledge the vast strides made in terms of education and awareness of menstrual hygiene. Still, I also choose to be wary of the narrative where women are only powerful when they are loud and proud of something as essential as wearing what they want or being open about menstruating. But I would be equally remiss by not acknowledging that these strides have been primarily limited to free media platforms like Instagram, Youtube and Facebook with the conversation and positive approach limited to the privileged few.
In a country like India, where WhatsApp remains the medium of choice and television, newspapers and radios, the medium for all you will find the conversation to either be negligible or non-existent.
Padman may have highlighted the fact that women and girls hide their periods but it did not show to what lengths they need to go to avoid showcasing mood swings, cramps and other symptoms which are as much a part of the menstrual process as bleeding is.
It’s high time now that the bridge is built and the narrative changed. It’s time to unlearn the conventions accepted. It is time that children are taught that their body first exists for them. We need to believe that bleeding without violence is more acceptable than any other cause for it and that irrespective of the gender we choose to identify with, accepting that we are all humans is the first step before any other.
The aim, after all, is not showing a powerful stance but reducing what a privilege for a tiny female population to an essential choice across the spectrum.
No one has the physical ability to sense when my period comes and choose to shame me. Still, everyone can create a narrative where I shame myself on their behalf, and up until now, they have been mostly successful.
So here’s hoping that someday irrespective of where we come from honest conversations will be a norm and not a luxury.