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A Discriminatory Experience In A Dubai School Made Me Realise How Distasteful NRI Education Was

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A teacher walked in specifically looking for a girl with long hair. The girl, or more importantly, the girl’s hair, would be representing one of the four rivers in India for our Republic Day celebrations. Vani had almost immediately raised her hand. Vani with her long, silky straight hair and milky white skin.

Surprisingly, the teacher ignored Vani. Instead, her eyes chanced upon Mary, also a very fair girl with slightly below shoulder-length hair. But Mary was uncomfortable showing off her hair and politely declined the offer. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why Vani was being ignored and why Mary got more attention even though her hair wasn’t long enough. But as if to avoid any doubt, the teacher herself loudly proclaimed, “I am looking for some fair and trim girls.” 

Speak against Colourism

Vani was so fair, that her cheeks and her nose immediately blushed several shades of red and tears streamed down her face. Vani, the sweet, happy girl we all knew was crying because she knew she wasn’t the ‘ideal’ body type. Mary, on the other hand, was tall and thin.

I studied in a school in Dubai that prided itself on its virgin imports of Indian culture and values. In fact, every 26th of January, this school occupies a good chunk of a page in the Gulf News (a famous daily in Dubai) along with ‘India Pride’ headlines. When had this Indian culture reinforced a specific skin colour, along with specific ideals of weight?

The next person she identified was me. And she announced once more, “You’re quite tall and trim! And you have long hair also! Why don’t you take part?” Long hair had transformed into an afterthought. There was a bigger, more important criteria to fit into. I’m unsure of what triggered me- was it Vani’s crying? Was it just knowing that this was wrong? Was it patriotism, where I knew my country is host to women much more than ‘ideal’ looks? I don’t know. But I quickly got up to say, “I refuse to participate in an event where such discrimination occurs on the basis of colour and size.”

By doing this, I had subscribed to an earful from the teacher telling me I was wrong (though she never mentioned how); along with an elaborate show of ‘give me your full name and let me note down your class’ threats. I did, and three years later I’m still waiting for her to call me so that she could, ‘tell me how I was wrong’. The story spread in school. Soon enough, a friend came up to me and told me about how even in the march past that my school carefully selects and breeds girls. Dusky girls, accompanied with much shouting, are placed in the centre row, while fair and ‘trim’ girls were placed at either sides-the sides visible to the audience.

The worst part? Many teachers knew about this, the student council too. The Headmistress? She insisted on this differentiation. I cannot, and nor do I want to blame the student council. How can I? They had received their position mainly because they were the teachers’ pets after all.

The very idea of protest is a distant thought in a school in Dubai- where fundamental rights are just 6 bullet points in a blue box printed in a 9th-grade Civics textbook.

I can, however, blame the Savarna teachers who enforced this. The ones who never saw anything wrong in discriminating on the basis of skin and body type. Equally to blame are the teachers that remained silent when they saw such selection occurring. They added to the system, raising students who never learned to question the things that they are taught, where the only thing that matters is the numbers on your answer sheet. These same beliefs are further reinforced at home.

So what purpose is this ‘NRI’ education? Does it bring anything different to the table? It comes as no surprise that most of these students come back to India for higher education and find it very easy to identify with many fascist beliefs. Within one month of staying in India, they decide that Muslims are bad, forgetting that they were raised in an Islamic country.

Fair and trim is just a start. It evolves into a longer list- one that entails creed, caste and religion. If we don’t stand up to them when they’re only asking for ‘fair and trim’, very soon a list will be drawn up where you may find yourself excluded. Just a heads up- the list-making has already begun.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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