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Love You, Ma

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I had a difficult relationship with my mum growing up. Her ideologies are different from mine and we often were in conflict about every little thing. I was just waiting for the day where I could get my freedom and live my life without her rules messing with my social life. There were more restrictions put on me than the criminals at Tihar Jail (yup I’m exaggerating, but it certainly felt like I was in jail).

Over time she started trusting me again (again? – a story for another time) and let me go. Fast forward to the present where most of us are stuck with our parents at home. Even though I get along well with my mum now but being with her in the lockdown and without having a buffer person (Di, I miss you) is making this quarantine terrifying and not easy.

During the initial days, I was cooped up in my room with Netflix and loads of chippies. The perfect isolation. But after getting restless I ventured out. I thought eh; let’s see how long I last without getting into a fight with her and going back running upstairs.

My mom is strict and doesn’t let anything slide and my friends have gone above and beyond to cover my ass, lie their way for me, and make sure the stories are perfected without any loopholes while also getting me home before the curfew.

Buttttt here’s a strange thing. She has become chill. In fact, super chill. Idk what it is and I’m not going to dare put my hand in the lioness’s mouth by asking what changed. But she’s changed. Or maybe she has always been like this and I needed a strict parent growing up to get my shenanigans in control.

This is not the point.

The point is while we are on our phones with tons of friends online and games to play, Netflix shows to watch; we are missing the opportunity of being in the company of our family and getting reacquainted (hi mum, miss me?).

Is it sad that it took a pandemic for me to reconnect with my mom? As I grew up I started understanding her more and saw her side where she just wanted to protect me from ‘The Big Bad World‘ (how do parents even know that a particular friend of yours is terrible and warn you but you ignore it and then it comes back to bite your ass!).

It is important to find happiness in small things right now in this difficult time. And if I could wish on a shooting star to undo this pandemic, I would! But, I am grateful that I am getting to spend more time with my family and getting to know them more.

I’ve started to cherish the carrom afternoons and discussions over chai. She doesn’t make me do anything, is still interested in dressing me up like a doll, and always cooks up my favorite dishes (who said parents don’t play favorites?). And then our evenings on the terrace spent with me talking about various conspiracy theories I read about or tell her about the movies I watched are precious.

Also when she cracks some joke in the moment I realize I am not so different from her after all (we are super lame with a sick sense of humor). Maybe it’s dumb of me to only realize how much I care and love my mom and would do anything to protect her and, I’m thankful for the chance to re-examine my relationship with her.

So instead of cribbing about not getting to meet my friends; I am going to learn things from her, share stories with her and spend time with her.

BRB, I now have to go run downstairs to tell her I love her and read this article to her 🙂

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