Class 12 board exam results have finally been declared, although I know I’m a bit late. I was pretty worried about my results. Well, who is not? They say it is something very important, but is it really that important?
I remember the day when my results were declared — before I could even check my result, I started getting calls from my family, relatives, and friends, asking me about my marks. I think the first thing they could have done was to console me down. They could have asked me to not panic, and said, “It is okay, marks don’t define your abilities or knowledge.” But who am I kidding? I shouldn’t have expected that from anyone because they are the people who call me once in a year or two.
My result was quite good. My mom was happier than I was. I was expecting a little less than what I got, but at the same time, I felt I could have done better than this. This regret ate me up, only because I knew I didn’t put in the effort to reach my own expected goal. I got praised from my family, relatives and friends. Many of them were proud of me, some of them were happy for me, some were not, and many didn’t even bother. But does it matter?
After 2-3 days, my brother texted me “Congratulations”. I thanked him and asked him why he was so late. He replied, “Because it’s not a big deal. It is just a certificate required for your birth date in future. Anyway, congrats for completing your first test in life.” I was happy that at least I have siblings who give me a reality check, time and again!
I think our batch has gone through a lot more pressure than faced by any other batch. Back in Class 10, we were the first to walk through the new implementation of percentage marks instead of a CGPA, and now in Class 12, we didn’t even get a clear picture about our remaining exams because of the lockdown.
We were having online classes for the remaining subjects. Though many of the students didn’t take them very seriously, we were equally pressurised by our family members to get more marks in these remaining subjects, because we had a lot of time on our hands! I think compared to others, our batch is more confused about their future. Almost half of our college life will be spent sitting at out homes, if this lockdown continues.
Right now, my parents don’t even have any topic to talk about, other than admitting me into one of the best colleges. It is very annoying that first, we are asked to study well so that we can enjoy after exams, and finally, when we are trying to enjoy our life after Class 12, the next big question of college has started surfacing.
My mother, after finishing her work, sits with me and puts me on a call with the management of colleges to ask them about the procedure of filling application forms. Mothers get too tensed, worried and panicky about their child’s future. It actually took me some time to make her understand that I have done everything I can, and now it’s in the hands of the college authorities to contact me back.
The moment you are happy with your results, it’d be followed be a moment where your happiness would be turned upside down. The dreadful cutoffs are a reminder that they hold the key to your admissions. I went through this, too. I didn’t get admission in any of the colleges I wanted, because of the differential cut-offs. It is one of the top colleges of the country, my family wanted me to go there but frankly speaking, I never did.
When the results came everyone was expecting me to get a seat in that college but unfortunately, I didn’t. It was sad, yes, it was unexpected because I scored good marks, but, I didn’t get it. This was the time when I regretted not having studied wholeheartedly. The reactions I got for not getting a seat were very annoying, irritating and hurtful. They were a reminder that my marks were not worth any happiness. In just one second, I started feeling that all the efforts I had made to reach this place were useless. My mom didn’t talk to me the whole day.
Next day, everything was back to normal, to our routine as if no one realised how hurtful they were. But this journey of me graduating from school, finding a college, fighting to go somewhere else rather than moving to a place where I don’t want to go, will always be remembered throughout my life.
I just have one question for my mom — why were you so happy with my marks back then, but not now? Are my marks less for you now? The moment I didn’t get a seat, you turned your back against me. You were unhappy and behaved differently, which made me feel like your happiness on the day of my result was not real!
To all the people who say marks are not important, if you put your words into action, then many people like me would be able to transition from school to college easily. Hearing that your marks don’t matter is very reassuring, but when they don’t act like one, it hurts more than anything.
These hardships don’t make you weak, sometimes they make you stronger. Just like the happy moments, which never make you stronger, but sometimes, emotional!