She posed a question to the crowd, “Are gender and sex one and the same thing?”
I ruminated on this unusual question for a while and framed an answer in my mind: “Supposedly yes, since we encounter these words so interchangeably while selecting an appropriate option of male, female or the other gender in various forms.” Just like myself, almost everyone in the crowd was of the same opinion.
But she vociferously said, “NO!”
“Gender and sex do not mean the same thing, although their usage is commonly misconstrued. While sex refers to our biological differences (in terms of sex hormones and secondary sexual characteristics), gender has a much broader and a much more nuanced, and somewhat abstruse, meaning which also includes gender roles in society and expectations attached with persons assigned male or female at birth.”
And this conversation was just the beginning of my journey of self-realisation and introspection of society’s preconceived notions about women in general- and their role in the social system.
I’ve always admired and drawn inspiration from people who have impelled me to look at an issue from a perspective that I may not necessarily agree with. I instantly feel empowered and elevated to a new ‘stature of intellectual proclivity’ when I interact with a person whose line of thought is vastly different from the conventional one.
The Indian poet, feminist and social scientist Kamla Bhasin is one such personality whose pellucid grace of prose, candidness, wit, and jovial spirit, instantly made me gravitate towards her when she came to my school for an interaction on ‘Women’s Empowerment for a Better World.’
Dear Kamla Bhasin Ma’am,
I owe much gratitude to you for sparking in me the quest to better position myself in a society that does not take women’s aspirations seriously and continues to obliquely promote male chauvinism.
You reminded me of the fact that feminism was born the day patriarchy was embraced. You made me realise that being a feminist means striving for the equality of both genders, and not the supplantation of patriarchy by a matriarchal structure.
As you had made it clear, feminism does not aim to marginalise men to the periphery of the cause but to get them actively involved and make them an intrinsic part of this social movement. You made me understand the importance of collective action and shared responsibility for an inclusive and just world, and that feminism, as a concept, was not gender-specific. In your words, “I know enough women who are totally patriarchal, who are totally anti-women, and I have known men who have worked for women’s rights their whole life. Feminism is not biological: feminism is an ideology.”
Yet, advocating for feminism is a daunting task in a society where people get trolled for openly supporting feminism and are regarded as ‘man-haters’ or ‘feminazis.’ Being a feminist is for some reason considered as being ‘an overly dominating woman whose sole objective in life is to crush all men beneath her feet.’ So whenever I would encounter half-witted trollers classifying this struggle for the equality of both genders as ‘PC policing,’ I would explode in anger and frustration.
But you made me recognize the significance of being calm and serene in this fight for an equitable societal order. You taught me the art of patiently hearing out the opinions of people whose perceptions on feminism were completely antithetical to mine and, ma’am, you encouraged me to be fearless while pointing out the wrongs in my own home, my intimate personal connections with friends and family, and my milieu at large.
You made me see the seriousness of crusading against ‘toxic masculinity’: the fundamental reason for all the woes plaguing our society, ranging from terrorism, rape, to farmers’ suicides.
Your clarion-call to all the girls always resonates in my mind: “Girls need to be educated not to meet the ‘educated’ criteria in the marriage match-making process, but to find their sense of purpose in life and to be financially strong and independent!”
Ma’am, I hear you recite your self-composed poem (with the sound-effects of my school’s auditorium) whenever I find myself in an unfavourable situation. Your words give me the courage to raise my voice with aplomb and have a strong footing in this male-dominated social setup:
“A father asks his daughter:
Study? Why should you study?
I have sons aplenty who can study.
Girl, why should you study?
The daughter tells her father:
Since you ask, here’s why I must study.
Because I am a girl, I must study.
Long denied this right, I must study
For my dreams to take flight, I must study
Knowledge brings new light, so I must study
For the battles I must fight, I must study
Because I am a girl, I must study.
To avoid destitution, I must study
To win independence, I must study
To fight frustration, I must study
To find inspiration, I must study
Because I am a girl, I must study.
To fight men’s violence, I must study
To end my silence, I must study
To challenge patriarchy I must study
To demolish all hierarchy, I must study.
Because I am a girl, I must study.
To mould a faith I can trust, I must study
To make laws that are just, I must study
To sweep centuries of dust, I must study
To challenge what I must, I must study
Because I am a girl, I must study.
To know right from wrong, I must study.
To find a voice that is strong, I must study
To write feminist songs I must study
To make a world where girls belong, I must study.
Because I am a girl, I must study.”
Thank you, ma’am, for inspiring millions of young students like me! Thank you for opening our eyes to the harsh reality that we constantly choose to sideline despite its clear, brooding presence in front of us!
Yours truly,
Paribha (a feminist and your ardent admirer)
