Why am I always the first one out?
I am going to talk about the elephant in the room for many people around us. I am talking about all those over-achievers, elite minds and prodigies. Yes, all the Gokus and Sasukes. Although the mentioned characters fell into trouble intentionally, I am interested in talking about the group that has been neglected by society over and over again, just because they were good. Being one of them comes with its own drawbacks.
Some of the readers might not agree, some might read it just because it is stupid, some might be interested due to the mention of their favourite anime characters (I am team Goku) and a tiny percentage of the readers might just relate to what I have to say.
Our brain is capable of selective attention, which means our brain is programmed in a way that it does not waste energy paying attention to what it thinks is unnecessary. So, the next time you don’t remember somebody’s name, you know whom to blame. I do not mean to convey that parents or teachers do any less of their jobs, but it is human nature to pay less attention to the subjects we think we are strong at. The same reason that the probability chapter we used to ignore till Class 8 became a nightmare as we entered Class 9.
I am not saying that I am part of the extraordinary populace, but I can’t help but think about how it might feel when you are the one leading, without any scope of personal choice. Not because someone is forcing you, but because your skills make others believe that you will likely want to be at the front, always. Every coin has two sides, but I think the other side of this coin is never discussed because do we really need to? But, at times, it haunts you. Expectations are really heavy and even heavier when you actually end up fulfilling them once, twice, thrice and keep doing so. Because when you are too good at anything, it is human tendency to believe that you will never be bad at it, and that is terrifying.
I am pretty sure being the most efficient is a good thing, but what about the times when we don’t want to be burdened with the most tiresome task or the task that requires the best efficiency out of us? At times, being mediocre helps and it is what we desire. Because the worst thing ever is to deny the job being offered to you, just because of the burden of expectations of being an overachiever.
It does feel good to be chosen or being the first choice, but not always. There are times when you want to be weak but can’t be because no one expects you to be weak. You are the best one out there and you always have to put your best foot forward. However redundant it feels to be people’s first choice, you have to bear with it.
And what does it give? A good résumé? Yes. Contentment? Not necessarily.
Hardships do groom us, but the children who lose their childhood because they are so good that all the responsibilities come to their end also make them mature too early. Things you learn are definitely important, but sometimes, the cost of acquiring them with early maturity is not worth it. Everything tastes its best when cooked for the right amount of time. An undercooked or overcooked dish just annoys Ramsay.
Let people breathe, let them be weak. Give them the attention they might crave for the rest of their lives, don’t let skills kill anyone off, being good is not bad, but being good is way worse. Have expectations and help children groom themselves, but don’t snatch away the essence of being alive from them just because they are the first one out!