“Man enough.” Ah, what a phrase!
Life is such a big responsibility, and being a man is even more significant. You can’t complain, you can’t cry, and the notion even goes to the extent of Bollywood proclaiming- “Mard ko dard nahi hota!” (Men don’t feel pain). But I don’t agree. Instead, I appreciate the much-celebrated comedian and poet Zakir Khan saying, “Mard ko darn hota hai sir, koi puchne wala hona cahiye.” (Men do get hurt, but someone should be there to ask them. Well, you must be wondering why suddenly a girl is going beyond her gender to talk about men?
But no, I am not talking about just men, I am instead talking about adult responsibilities that all of us, men and women, share under the common umbrella of being ‘Man Enough’.
Being ‘Man Enough’ to share household chores, being ‘Man Enough’ to contribute towards family income, being ‘Man Enough’ to give each other shoulder to cry or laugh whatever be the situation, and being ‘Man Enough’ to look back even while letting go. Because for somebody to leave you in darkness requires real ignorance that you can be misled or harmed. It takes real disregard to not look back even while letting go.
As a woman, I will not choose someone only because the guy is ‘man enough’ to protect me. Still, I’ll rather go for an average calm and composed enough to protect me even from himself when in rage. The same should go for a man who should be helped emotionally, financially rather than just being taken as a person fulfilling mountains of expectations. And for that, a woman must be given equal chance and representation as financial support in the household, for it is considered that a man when he earns thinks about his whole family.
Still, sadly, on the other hand, a woman who earns is usually associated with independence and not seen as a family ‘support’. So, besides being a home-maker, a woman must be accepted as a financial supporter in the family to eliminate any gender differences that arise due to financial dependence.
But still, there are different qualifications for different jobs. I mean, if money is the only concern, isn’t it better to ‘Qubool’ a good package yourself than being relying on a man with a good package?
And it’s funny, but marriage proposals these days are also kind of like a bidding process, and the reason the world has turned ugly. The dignity of a workplace is different from that of a home, and it should be maintained accordingly. People usually consider denial as a hesitation, but no, repudiation is built on purpose and with a plan that lies your wisdom.
We’re not different as such in qualifications, but it is not in our etiquettes as Indians to discuss our household chores and personal affairs in public. I mean, you may be in love or have a partner, but I don’t consider it as an achievement or qualification to be proud of. It’s something very personal! (…what good is a discussion on sexual preferences for an accounting business based on numbers?)
Secondly, our women will be accepted as financial supporters. They will be allowed and accepted to step outside only when our workplaces will be free from any gender biases and immorality persisting behind closed doors.
Now, talking about immorality, we are not living in an age where only women are being assaulted and sexually harassed. It happens with males as well, where there have been accounts with both male adults and children who have been victims of assaults.
So, ‘Man Enough’ is not just a man who needs to be ‘Man Enough’ pertaining to expected strength but also a woman, defining her own gender identity without any biases spitting towards the opposite gender.
So that we all can sing together–
“She said, where’d you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?
I’m not lookin’ for somebody.
With some superhuman gifts
Some fairy-tale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can miss.”