Teenagers and their curiosity about new discoveries are quite normal. I don’t know why exploring things is taboo in our society. Why are these rules abided not because we want to but because we should? Why should we?
Recently, there was a post on Facebook about menstrual cycle and sanitary pads. Why do we have to wrap them in paper while buying them anyway? Why do people hesitate about buying a condom when they want to have sex? Why are condom ads and sanitary pad ads embarrassing to watch with your family even when they know that you know? How many teenagers actually know the proper usage and importance of contraceptives for safe sex?
They learn all they want about sex from the internet, false doctor sites and porn movies. These sources mislead people on serious issues of AIDS and HIV, and the precautions one needs to take while having multiple partners. This got me thinking, there are so many taboos about things as important and vital as menstruation and sex.
I have seen friends and classmates who want to have sex, but are not even ready to buy condoms on their own. They are embarrassed about asking for a condom or a sanitary pad at a shop. Elderly shop owners stare at you with a half-smile, as if saying, “I know you are menstruating” or “You are having sex tonight.”
For God’s sake, these people are living their life just like you are. Why does that have to be embarrassing? When we were teenagers, many guys would be curious about sanitary pad and condom ads. Their parents never bothered to clear the air, and sex and menstruation remained a taboo for them.
I remember this one guy who asked me what menstruation was all about, and I explained it to him. What followed was my mother instructing me to never discuss this topic with boys. My question was why can’t they know? But there was no answer. What I later discovered is that due to a lack of conversations around menstruation, boys end up building assumptions about periods and sex, which is totally wrong because nobody decides to sit them down and explain it to them.
Menstruators are not allowed into temples or offer pujas when they’re menstruating. But doesn’t God say that we can pray to him anytime? Isn’t praying a personal thing? How can a normal, physical-biological cycle stop you from praying? Back in ancient times, when women had their periods, they were meant to sit in a room and not go out because of lack of amenities to keep the flow in check. This was for hygienic purposes then, and not as a rule.
This is the land where the Kamasutra was written, where sex is considered a practice, where we worship Kamadeva and where the walls of Khajuraho still reveal astonishing truths. The truths revealed shows how modern and outgoing people of the subcontinent were about lovemaking. It was not seen as an embarrassing thing to discuss or reveal.
In some so-called conservative families, even love is a taboo. You are not supposed to fall in love, instead, you’re expected to marry a perfect stranger whom you’ve met only twice before your marriage. If you fall in love, what follows are forced marriages and honour killings. Aren’t marriages made out of love only? Don’t we love our families? Why is love a crime then? Why does, then, love come between you and your family’s reputation, forcing you to choose one between the two?
There are still taboos about accepting women as men’s bosses. It might hurt some male egos, but if she is more qualified than you, then she is eligible to be your boss. You need to respect her. Yes, she is a housewife. Yes, she is financially dependent on you. But look at you. You are more dependent on her. She cooks, cleans and brings up your children, and manages the household financially. Without her, you wouldn’t be able to live. So why can you not thank her once in a while instead of proving your might with how bad the meat was or how messy the room is?
The taboo that haunts society more than anything else is choices. Children are meant to fulfil their parents’ dreams and unfulfilled aspirations, and if they think out of the box to do something else, their dreams are shut down with responsibilities. They need to be flaunted as trophies at social gatherings, and nothing less than doctors or engineers would do. There is no scope for musicians, writers, designers or photographers to follow their dream.
The result of these taboos takes a toll on young lives. India has a high number of cases of suicides, especially among teens, due to parental pressure. Abortions are practiced all over the country illegally and not be accounted for. Honour killings and forced marriages have risen, especially in less developed areas, and forced marriages lead to an alarming rate of divorces. Treating men as superiors have taken an effect on the lives of women, and frequent cases rapes, murders and trafficking of girls and teenagers are an effect of how men and boys are learning to treat girls at their homes.
So, to all those who are reading this, please pass it on to all the elders. Talking about sex and menstruation is important and not dirty. It helps women live a healthy mental and physical life. So start today and help get these taboos out of our society for everyone’s benefit. The golden age of India came around the time when people used to think scientifically and to frame religious beliefs. They did not feel embarrassed about natural systems and this has been proved on the public walls of Khajuraho. Open the doors of your mind and let it be free and liberal. Only then can we move a step closer to establishing the right over wrong and dharma over adharma.