This is my calling. I’m totally convinced that if I need to appreciate the goodness and solutions to society, community or nation—I would have to be a part of the problems too. What I want for myself is so intrinsically linked to change and reform—a yearning for a certain paradise, a paradise in my head—that I have realised I would never be able to appreciate those changes if I don’t be a part of a community, society or nation.
Yes, I’m very confused. I don’t even have a proper plan in place about earning income, but I have some rough ideas about what I can do. I’ve wanted to take this leap for a while now, and I can’t make sense of why I feel how I feel. But I’ve got to do this.
I’m also coming to terms with the fact that I might have to spend a lot of time in my home if I take trading as something to be an income stream for me. But hey, I’d have to work around the grievances that may bring me.
I am not a coward, maybe a bit lazy. I’m not an idiot either. But I’ve got to do this shit. So help me, Lord!