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An Open Letter To The Deaf Daughter At Palwal

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*Trigger Warning: Article covering rape and murder 

My Dearest Deaf Daughter,

I am left with nothing but a feeling of helpless anger and a deep abyss of sadness, due to the cruel incident of rape and murder of an innocent soul like yours.
I, as an empowered Deaf woman, cannot accept this fate for you, given the fact that you were raped and killed by the unabashed predators; what am I to do?

I know of your vulnerability, your inability to protect yourself, which these lowlife rapists have exploited through their evil act, by demonstrating a manifestation of the pure patriarchal and criminal “I can get away” mentality.

A deaf child that cannot express or communicate was an easier target for them to rape and murder, and still roam scot-free and God forbid, that they find another such target again!!

When I reflect on what ‘could be’ and what ‘should be’, I am left in awe with the enormity of the issues, underlying the culmination of the incident. My mind is stormed with innumerable unanswered questions of how and why, and the possibilities of preventing anything like this from happening ever again!

I am writing this letter with a little ray of hope, that all the concerned stakeholders such as parents, educators, local administrations, police officials and Indian society at large, will understand the dire need of early intervention, prevention and empowerment of a deaf child regardless of gender in the best possible way.

Why And How

Representational image.

In a small village situated in Haryana, you were living with your parents in the slums, with no street lamps, CCTVs or any other facilities that ensure the security of the residents, as we have in the metropolitan cities now, in some places.

These were men living right next door, who lured you into the nearby fields to commit this heinous crime. Otherwise, why would you venture out into the nearby fields with a young man whom you knew over the years, whom you saw on a daily basis? Whose friends were already waiting there to exploit your trust and innocence?

You were not able to hear the conversations happening around, nothing to comprehend because of the lack of language access and communication even with your own parents. Were you supposed to know on your own the existence of hidden demons behind their friendly known faces?

Your mother, also a deaf woman lacking awareness who kept you cocooned in her world by her family and society could not make you aware of such happenings. Unable to express or have any say in the matter she sat there veiled, without words or signs!

Your siblings, a deaf sister aged seven and brother aged three, roamed around, with no awareness of the whole situation! Where does that leave us? Are we as members of the Deaf community, supposed to take this incident as another happening and move on? Do we just learn from this and take care of your siblings?

Do we enrol them in an education centre for Deaf children and allow ourselves to live with the comfort that we have tried our best? Or do we raise our voices, protest, publish, advocate and try and change this society? How many of them will be able to hear us? Will society ever understand the exact gravity of the matter? The underlying complexities which have led to this horrendous crime?

How Long Will Deafness Be Perceived As A Taboo?

I wonder what could have been the situation, supposing you were enrolled in a Deaf education centre all along? Would you have learned better? Communicated better?

Maybe you could have gained confidence watching more Deaf individuals like you communicating with ease? Become aware a whole lot better and maybe have been able to save yourself from the clutches of those predators?

Could it have been possible that if you had a hearing mother she could have made you more aware? But then how come, this incident took place in Chennai, where twenty-two men raped an eleven-year-old deaf girl?

Why was there lack of communication amid the mother and child for six long months? Why couldn’t she express herself to her own mother? How does a family’s intervention not matter in these happenings?

Why are families keeping the likes of you cocooned and overprotected, instead of exposing you to the Deaf and signing community, which would make you more aware and empowered?

How long will deafness be perceived as a taboo and hidden from society, or fixed with quick-fix short term solutions? Will these solutions really empower the likes of you in the true sense? Or will a peer to peer environment make it better? When will your family, your educators, doctors and society at large, accept this truth and make it happen? How many more daughters like you have to be the victim, for society to realize the necessity of finding and implementing the need of peer to peer environment as a solution?

What Should The Focus Be?

The what “should be” done aspect of this whole situation is making my mind go dizzy! When I imagine the numerous perspectives that we as educators hold, the differences of opinions, and much more, I feel completely exhausted.

We live at a time when in this country, a new National Education Policy (NEP) has been recently announced. Further Indian Sign Language is going to be “standardized” and the education system even for a hearing and person without a disability is undergoing drastic change.

Will the focus stay on the main issue of empowering girls like you or will it shift on to prioritizing options of learning and educating methods such as speech therapy, cochlear implants or bilingual education (ISL and spoken language)? What about the accessibility of awareness campaigns? Will the media understand the issue and provide equally accessible information for all concerned?


It wrenches my heart, my dear child, to say goodbye to you, with our blurred future! I still sense a ray of hope and wish that your spirit gets the justice it deserves, and the criminals get the hardest punishment for their crimes.

So much so, that no one in the future dares to look at any deaf person in the eye with evil intentions! I hope against hope, that the fight for justice, for empowerment and independence will rage on, against all odds and create a brave new world for our Deaf community someday!

Till then, may you find peace in the thought that your tragic and humiliating death has awakened our humanity and your life will not go worthless!!

With deepest love
Saudamini Pethe

This article in the form of an open letter is written by Ms. Saudamini Pethe. She is a deaf rights activist and a trustee at Access Mantra Foundation. She can be reached on twitter @saudamini_pethe

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  1. Manavi Jalan

    Very well articulated, it shakes you up.

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