Dear Men,
Do you ever wonder, why do women still have to worry about small things like a period stain? Are you the man who has heard monthly periods disguised as “pet mai dard“? Does your mother/sister/girlfriend/wife ask you to get her sanitary supplies in a hushed tone?
Yes, the reason behind affirmative answers to all these questions is lack of imparting substantial knowledge to the male population on this very normal process which is subjected to abject stigma. In this article, I have penned down a 7 step guide on how to become a better ally to any menstruating women around you.
1. Being Aware
The indirect knowledge of class 8th reproduction chapter is nothing but mere pages of our biology textbook sparingly ignored like our science teacher’s sex education class. The internet is equipped with all sorts of information to make yourself aware of the whole process of menstruation.
It’s always advised to start by communicating. But, asking difficult questions from your near ones can be nerve-wracking. So, with one single click, you can know about basic nitty-gritty like duration, cause, effects of periods. Read aggressively on it. It’s your sole responsibility for learning about menstruation.
2. Holding Empathetic Dialogues
Since you are aware now, you can delve into a more personal understanding. Periods are varying experience involving individualistic problems and coping mechanisms. Don’t turn a blind eye after step 1. Listen closely to the menstruators’ opinions without any sense of judgment or shame. But caution, they don’t owe you anything, not even their experience.
3. Lending A Helping Hand
A combination of PMS and killer cramps are often a barrier to women’s productivity. It’s a societal expectation to fulfil gender roles, ignoring her pain with a broad grin. But you can be more empathetic, right? Helping in routine household chores like cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping will be helpful. Pass her a hot water bag, order her a chocolate cupcake or make her a cup of tea. Just be there for her.
4. Dismantling The Myths
It’s quite a revelation that in some households, patriarchal heads don’t allow menstruating women to enter the kitchen. More such mind-boggling taboos still have a deep root in Indian societies because of the inherent Brahmanical patriarchal notions of purity and pollution.
So, next time when someone passes a sneaky remark about your sister who is on her periods, please take a stand. Debunking the age-old persistent myths can create a progressive atmosphere which is a foundational base to better allyship.
5. Spread The Word
Open discussions with co-workers. Initiating conversations, supporting sustainable menstruation, highlighting unhygienic toilet issues in your workplace, teaching your young kids about menstruation are some of the essential steps a male ally should undertake without any failure.
6. Strictly Avoid Mansplaining
Dispose of all your preconceived notions about menstruation. Be open to unlearning because the menstrual experience is varied for everybody. Don’t try to preach on the dos and don’ts of menstruation to a menstruator. It’s easy to underestimate their pain, generalise, compare and criticise based on your previous knowledge and experience. Try to nurture the virtue of kindness and informed empathy.
In such trying times, remember that everyone is stressed. Periods don’t stop for the pandemic so; your caregiving can include virtual support through video calls. Offer to order them menstrual supplies online. Lend an ear just to let them rant.
Period poverty has also been aggravated due to lockdown; you can book virtual appointments with OB/GYN for anyone you know suffering from menstrual disorders. Concluding this e-manual by quoting Martin Luther King, “Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” All the wannabe allies should ponder and work relentlessly to make this world a better place for menstruating women.