There Is No Such Thing As “Asking For It”

Always remember that rape can never be your fault. Their is no action, no words , no such clothes which can cause rape! There is no such thing as “asking for it”. It’s 100% rapist’s fault.

I am tired of talking about injustice, tired of sharing stories demanding justice. Nothing is changing! As the time pass, everything is over. All claims for justice comes to an end.

How long are we willing to wait for things to become better/ situations to improve? The world is full of devils! Let us start taking care of ourselves . 

• Try to defend yourself on spot –

1. Some studies show that yelling “fire” instead of “help”  or “call 911” can actually be more effective getting attention.
2. Carry a pepper spray.
3. Carry a whistle that will make a loud noise.
4. Engage in active resistance – react immediately to startle your attacker. Use any available item like hairspray, keys, purse as a weapon.
5. If you carry a knife, take a course online or offline to use it most effectively to avoid it getting used against you.
6. Even umbrella or purse can be used against the attacker and has less chance of being turned against you.
7. Use your nails to scratch his face.
8. You your teeth to bite his hands.
9. Try to poke in both his eyes using your thumb.
10. Try to kick his sensitive parts.
11. Use your elbow to attack.

• Be aware of your surroundings every time. Parking lots and parking garages are two of sites that are most often targeted by attempted rapists.
• Install a door viewer and use them before openning the door.
• Never open your door to a stranger and never tell them that you are alone.
• Leave outside lights on at night.
• Avoide shortcuts through parks, vacant lots, deserted places.
• Don’t accept rides from strangers.
• Hold your purse close and avoide carrying extra valuables.
• If possible , try to distract the person by pretending as if police is coming or by saying “look somebody is taking your car”
• When you return your home, have your door key ready so that you can enter without delay
• Before entering your car, look into the back seat and the floor board.
• If possible , travell on busy streets and avoide isolated back roads and shortcuts.
• If you are driving alone, don’t stop to aid a stranger in a stalled vehicle.
• Make your children aware about good touch and bad touch.
• Listen to your children carefully when they tell you about something without taking it as a joke.
• Be safe while being pulled over by the police. If you are denied a female officer or feel unsafe, quickly text someone your location to ensure your safety.
• Learn basic ways to defend yourself in case of any attack.
• Call your local police department if you feel unsafe.
• If your gut tells you that the situation is not okay, you should leave as soon and safely as possible.
• Know that the majority of rapes are committed by a person the victim knows. 9-33% rapists were complete strangers and the rest have been known to the victims. So be it your friend/boyfriend/relative or any one, if you don’t feel safe, just leave!
• Don’t accept a drink from a date unless the bartender delivers it straight to you.
• Make sure not to drink more than 1 drink per hour and to stay in control of your mind.
• Dont leave your friends out with a person he/she met for the first time, especially if there has been alcohol involved.
• Their is no need to be polite when somebody is making unwanted sexual advances.
• Always keep your phone charged.
• Always carry some cash for emergency.
• If you are walking down a dark street and have the feeling that someone behind you is following, then walk towards the middle of the street so that you are more likely to be seen by an oncoming car.
• You can take a basic self defense course called Rape Aggression Defence (RAD).
• Learn S I N G ( Solar Plexus Instep Nose Groin). If you are grabbed from behind, elbow them in the solar plexus, stomp on the foot as hard as you can, when they turn around, jam the palm of your hand into their nose in an upward motion, finish with a knee to the groin. This may disable your assailant long enough for you to get away.
• If you don’t know what to do next, just shout and create gathering.
• Take simple precautions like having everyone text each other when they are back home.
• Always have number of a cab company programmed in your phone.
• Inform your room mate about where you are going and with whom.
• If you feel unsafe, share your live location with your room mate or close friend.
• Keep your ears listening while alone. Don’t have earphones on.
• If your date is making you uncomfortable, call a friend and use a codeword or make an excuse and leave.
• Tell a trusted person your movements.
• Practice being observant so that if you ever have to file complain against anyone for attack or rape, you will be able to remember and identify the assailant.

Information mostly needed by the police –

1. Car license plate, model of the car, color of the car.
2. Race, age, weight, height, hair color, length of the hair, color of eyes, clothing, unusual marks, scars, tattoos, rings, facial hair of the assailant.

• Say “No” (strangers)

1. “I brought you some water”
2. “Do you want to get some fresh air”
3. “Are you doing okay? Would you like me to stay with you? “
4. “My car is out, would you like me to drop you? “

• For women in distress-

1.  Central social welfare board police helpline – 1091/1291, (011) 23317004
2. Shakti shalini- 10920
3. Nari raksha samiti – (011) 23973949

Reporting a rape

Always remember, police can arrest a criminal if they are made aware of the offence.

In case of rape , call 911 or the police department at 414-351-9900 immediately.

1. Do not change cloths .
2. Don’t take shower
3. Don’t eat.
4. Don’t smoke.
5. Don’t chew a gum.
6. Avoide going to washroom prior to test.

All physical evidences including seminal fluid, hair, blood types and scraping of flesh from victims nails are used in court.

Suffocating? Isn’t it?

But the fact is that we can’t sit at home and wait for world to become a better place to live in. We have to be prepared and that is the sad reality for now! 

–Divya yadav.