What is the purpose of my life? Does it even matter? Am I wasting my time? The alarm goes off, and I wake up. It’s 5 am, and I have to prepare for my exam and submit my assignment. Yeah, the same assignment that I’ve been ignoring for a month!
But today is the deadline, So I sit on my computer and start working on it. Nothing feels the same. I used to be very alert, but now, I can’t even do basic things like memorising my notes. I get up, and all of a sudden, I feel like I can’t breathe—the anxiety is building up inside me; my demons are taking over me. It’s building up, and soon, I find it hard to breathe—it’s a panic attack! And then everything’s a blur, and I pass out. Whenever I try to do anything, this happens. But for how long will this continue?
I just lay on my bed, deep in my thoughts and let that dread take over me and make me feel suicidal again. And the rest of the day goes like this…
It seems like I have lost my sanity;
I have lost my interest in life;
I have lost my friends and family,
And I have lost Myself.