So the title suggests that I will be listing 99 things of a certain genre — maybe 99 things to procrastinate, 99 ways of doing nothing, 99 effective time-kill activities, obviously because it is coming from me.
I feel 99 is an effective number. It is like almost, as in, we were almost graduates when this pandemic happened. We were almost on the same page. I have almost been on time for my morning lectures (just 25 minutes late). So this figure draws enough attention as at least it convinces me and my dear friends that 1,499 is a lot closer to 1,000 than it is to pay 1,500 on Nykaa.
Now because I have drawn enough attention with this number, I am determined enough to list certain things of use. The past 5–6 months have been different. I won’t use the words miserable, difficult, depressing, draining. Not because they have not been so, but because I feel good at this moment. And as of now, I am learning to live in the moment or maybe I currently think it should be lived this way. But it is not always that I feel this way. I feel all sorts of’ “d” words at times, but luckily it is a long happy phase that I am in, touchwood.
Still, sometimes when I need to shoo my negativity away, I try to think of doing something which will make me feel good. It is like flipping between mental channels. And honestly, most of these activities are materialistic. These things are temporary and I don’t even stand in a position of high spiritual standards to calm my mind without finding materialistic desires and happiness. But at this point, this helps me, it fills me with energy. Be it building castles in the air for our upcoming trip. Hehe, no air castles! A trip after this year ends for sure.
So basically, I run through my mind a series of ideas I can do and then I pick something which convinces my mood the most. I pick something which strikes me as the most refreshing. It works 99% of the time to uplift my mood. I get happy by the thought of it and then I procrastinate (kidding!).
At times I have to forcefully abandon my negative thoughts by plugging in my earphones and playing a “high on energy” song. It is Happy by Pharrell Williams these days. I don’t know why, but Netflix does not help me much. I think of getting dressed sometimes, other times I think of doing a room makeover. Also, often I mentally devise a workout and diet plan which I will definitely follow from tomorrow, or Monday for sure.
I think of writing something, this is something I diligently do. I plan to read books, plan on learning a new skill, learn calligraphy maybe and this goes on. I am not really satisfied with my will to execute these ideas because mostly I am content with the planning part (that too mental). But because today I am in a very mindful state, I won’t be diving deeper into the introspection of “why am I so?” I don’t feel bad about myself today.
Recently I read somewhere that everything that goes in our mind becomes our actual circumstances. This reminds me to mention that reading just one good line fills me with surplus motivation to get me going through the week. And what about next week? I search for another such line.
Isn’t feeling good a habit? Yesterday, when I was video calling my 9-year-old cousin who was sitting in front of the camera wearing a cool hat and goggles, I chuckled and asked her, “What mischief are you up to today?” To which she said, “I was too bored, so right now I am thinking I am in Goa.” I had a non-stop 60 seconds laugh, but I knew that this 9-year-old has better ways of keeping herself up. Isn’t it all about the fuel we provide to ourselves.
Often I am in a perplexing situation, a situation of dilemma which disturbs me and pokes my mental peace. That is when I follow something I learnt from my friend, I write it down. I write every detail of it, connect things in form of a web, list things I am dubious about. No, It doesn’t provide an answer, but it helps me sort out my thoughts. I feel no more dubious.
I don’t really have 99 ways of feeling good. But I do have a lot of people around me to talk to. I express myself, I love to talk to them. I like sharing my life philosophies, my very own theories (which Stuti says I should get patented, kidding not kidding) .
I have put down everything which has come to my mind today, which has helped me sail through my bad phases. It is like I am talking to myself and reflecting how it has been lately. It somewhat feels personal, but I still feel like sharing it. Maybe because, after some time, when I read it I could know we excelled through the pandemic.
We moved past not getting a farewell, we adjusted with the reality of not having the last day at college, our batch graduated in the recession period, we almost had our offer letters in hand. But we choose to be happy. We will always choose to be happy because Papa said, “It is our brain that paralyses us at times, and it is the one with which we choose to conquer. And we choose to conquer.”