TW: Suicidal thoughts, domestic violence.
Suruchi (name withheld), daughter of a fruit seller, a student who has high expectations for her studies and career, a teenager who is barely 16-years-old, about to enter into class 10, was having sleepless nights after the day (March 20) PM Modi announced a nationwide lockdown.
For children like Suruchi, the lockdown meant no tuition classes that she attended with minimum fees, no school, and no extra help from anywhere. Suruchi was upset, depressed, and didn’t wish to live anymore as she saw her dying future in front of her eyes.
She has stopped eating and became weaker than before, which caused more health issues, her parents revealed to me while I interviewed them. Why would Suruchi fall into such a condition? Why not? She belongs to a Dalit community, a historically marginalised community, supposedly ‘doomed’ since her birth.
We all must be aware of the incident that happened in a Southern state of India, where a Dalit teenager saw no other option than to die by suicide as she did not have means to study online. Neither did she have the financial capital to purchase a desktop/laptop/smartphone, nor did she have any scope to get help from anyone.
In India, where economic inequality is not only high but is also multi-layered, affording a television or a smartphone for a daily-wage worker is next to impossible. Students and activists took to the streets of Kerala to show solidarity to the deceased soul and to protest against the Brahmanical inequalities that the marginalized suffer in India, right from food and education, to medical aid.
Social distancing has affected the marginalized children to an extent that cannot be imagined even in our dreams. Economic, social, and gender inequalities have created such a unique gap in their access to regular education, that they have fallen prey to depression.
Marginalised Indian families, that cannot make their ends meet, often dream of educating their daughters and sons to an extent that they lead a decent life in future. When a child sees that her parents’ and family’s expectations are ending and there is nothing in their hand that can save them, they can fall prey to depression. For a child to dream big from a disenfranchised position in India is difficult, when the government is ridiculously callous in creating and solving loopholes in the system.
As of now, there has been no news of any ‘mental health foundations’ that are working to cater to the needs of the poor children. Indeed, mental health problems can be said to be viewed in India as a “rich man’s illness”. Moreover, I feel like children in India do not have agency of their own. Either they are not listened to or misunderstood. Children in India seldom have their own voice and platform that makes them even more vulnerable to all kinds of mental illness.
Social distancing and quarantine measures have affected toddlers, primarily due to the lack of structure that is associated with schools and educational institutions. Children remain disciplined because of the daily and regular work-routine and structure that give them ample scope for their physical, psychological, and emotional development. The routine life of school-going children not only inculcates self-discipline in them but also helps them in their daily academic challenges, physical health needs, and creativity.
When a child’s routine is disturbed due to certain external stimuli, coercion or unavoidable circumstances, the child can develop behavioural issues. Often, kids who have a history of mental illness can fall prey to the situation due to lack of structure, uninvited loneliness, and tensions from family.
Unfortunately, many children in Indian families witness or become victims of domestic violence. The home becomes a dangerous place for them, and schools are usually a place of respite. In the lockdown situation, domestic aggression in India has risen to an extent that children (and senior citizens) have become very vulnerable to such abuses. Therefore, homes turn to be an unhealthy place for the child to grow academically, psychologically, and emotionally. The illness has different manifestations for every child. Eating and sleeping disorders, regressive behaviour, uncontrollable emotional outbursts, and hyperactivity are some of the examples of such manifestations.
Reema (name changed), a class one student (whom I personally interviewed) saw her mother getting thrashed by her father everyday. Reema felt helpless due to the situation and runs to her grandmother’s room out of fear and anxiety. Reema’s mother claimed that such events have made Reema* vulnerable and she often soils her clothes whenever anyone yells or shouts around her.
The sudden behavioural regression in Reema* is a matter of fear for her mother. When I spoke about accessing mental health professionals for Reema*, her mother was reluctant as she believed that her daughter’s reputation might be ‘stained’ if the colony (para) comes to know. Being an Indian and surviving amidst such prejudice, I have internalized the fact that mental illness has always been a taboo in Indian society, and these innocent souls suffer, with the harrowing pain inside them, in silence, without anyone’s notice.
Every age group develops and reacts in different ways. According to mental health experts from SRCC Children’s hospital, children below ten years, who have not yet developed a complete understanding of the whole situation, have been learning about what’s going on through the television and family conversations. Children who are above 10 years have developed a nascent fear of death that is affecting their studies, a regular routine, eating, and sleeping pattern.
Many children have lost their loved ones which can lead to depression and negativity. Kids whose parents have been quarantined have shown extreme emotional outbursts due to the absence of their caregivers. Adolescent boys and girls feel out of place due to the lack of space at home and a smaller social circle. They have had to resort to online activities that can have harmful consequences, such as getting into illicit online relationships and becoming an easy target for predators.
I feel that children in conservative, South-Asian societies are less heard and understood, so the lockdown period has become a ‘menace’ for them. Often, the psychosomatic symptoms in children are overlooked by parents and family members. The uncertainty of reopening of schools/colleges leaves a big question mark on their academic life and career, and this is only making things worse.
Komal (name changed), the seven-year-old daughter of a police inspector who succumbed to COVID-19 is not ready to admit that she has lost her father forever. She keeps clinging on her mother, cries most of the time and soils her clothes. Komal believes that if schools are opened quickly, she would again see her friends and is looking forward to it. Komal has been supervised by a mental health professional and she has given positive signals to the counsellor. Komal often complained that she felt upset and unwell. However, with the support of the counsellor, she feels better now and wishes to continue with her.
Rahul (name changed), a fifteen-year-old cricket enthusiast, who has been locked in his house for almost four months, found it difficult to sleep at night and often talks while sleeping. Rahul was scared to disclose this fact to his father as he was ashamed of it and thought that he would be ridiculed. He has also stated that a helping hand, who would become a bridge between him and his father to discuss this issue, would help him tremendously.
Are we giving attention to our kids at home? Do we ever sit beside them and talk freely and openly about the matters pertaining to COVID-19 and the link with mental health? Do your kids feel shy to talk about mental health issues? If these are some questions you often come to mind, then it means it is high time to change priorities.
The mental health of children, irrespective of their caste, creed and sex, does matter and is important.
The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare has launched a national helpline number 080-46110007 (toll-free) to reach out to children and the elderly facing anxiety or other mental health issues due to the pandemic. Parents need to break away from the taboo around mental health and give an opportunity to their little ones to breathe freely and dream happily once again.
Note: The names of children have been changed to protect their identity and ensure privacy.