A few days ago, I was sitting on the terrace along with my family when our family friend and neighbour approached us. My mom, due to her health issues, cannot do much strenuous work. So, she had asked my brother to wash the dishes. Our 31-year old neighbour who happened to overhear this conversation commented, “Jaldi se ghar ke liye ek bartan saaf karne wali le aaja.” What he meant to imply was ‘get married and bring a girl that will do all the household chores for you’.
That comment left me shocked and stunned. I retaliated by saying that my brother doesn’t need to get married just for the sake of bringing home a “kaamwali” (domestic worker). The next comment confirmed my suspicions of his narrow-minded thinking. “The women must do all the chores at home.”
My mother intervened and said, “I don’t need a domestic worker, our daughter-in-law can do whatever she wants to do. She can work in an office or she can be a homemaker if she wishes so. She has every right to decide what she wants to do. She can live with us in our ancestral home, or she can shift, with my son, to his work town.”
Even after the conversation was over, the same lines kept running in my head over and over. I lay on my bed, these thoughts racing through my brain.
Mankind has evolved its way into the 21st century. But still, old stereotypes exist, deep down in the minds of people, that a MAN is supposed to work and earn while the WOMAN is supposed to take care of the cleaning and cooking, housekeeping, laundry, ironing, and dusting. And, if children come along, then her responsibilities automatically expand.
I’m indebted to my parents for not raising my siblings and me with such a mindset. We are five siblings, and our father always taught us to be self-independent.
I might come from a village but our upbringing guides us to focus on our careers and to work hard no matter whatever the result is. My brother has already rejected several marriage offers, despite him being the oldest, because he works hard for this family to make our sisters independent.
Our neighbour is not the only one with such a mindset. Several men and even some women agree that women are better suited for household chores and they should not go outside of the home to work.
However, my personal opinion is that we still have to walk the talk to reach a place of acceptance of these new ‘facts’. I have met many women who abhor cooking, disdain cleaning or housekeeping and detest taking care of children. However, do they have a saying for that? I guess no!
We, as a new generation, need to change this century-old mindset. We talk about women empowerment but the foundation has to be properly laid to implement this. We can personally ensure the ‘sowing’ of this idea into the minds of every family member, but even then we still have a long way to go.