Sitting alone in my room, reading ‘Management of Mandibular Fracture’ from my textbook, made me realise that I am not okay today, I feel a little down and lonely, and the worst part is that I don’t know the reason for it.
Alhamdulillah, I am okay with everything going in my life these days. My personal life is great, I have peace with it. My family really loves me a lot and I have a great work life too these days. We talk and we laugh at work.
There is something that I feel, while taking sips of coffee from my favourite yellow mug. Sometimes, tears keep rolling from my eyes. Without any good reason, I feel like I am a cry-baby. Dude, I don’t want this feeling what is happening with me, why am I crying? As soon as possible, I finished my coffee, opened my Instagram and started watching reels that usually, I never like to watch because I feel that it is waste of time. As I was scrolling down the reels, the same song Titliyan, which has been recreated by different different people with different conceptions. But honestly, I like all songs that actually elevate my mood.
While scrolling, I discovered a clip of a lady name IAS Smita Sabharwal. I came to know that she is the first lady administrative officer, appointed by the Chief Minister’s Office and because of her powerful voice, she addresses citizens’ issues by involving them.
Her walk, her speech, her work inspired me. My friend asked me why I was always ready to jump into everything and take the bullet on myself. (he is really concerned for me). He maintains that the whole world is fundamentally wrong and I cannot change the whole world. Yesterday, in a party, a well-known person told me, “No one should speak this way in front of me” in a very sarcastic and and ugly way in front of everyone. I didn’t react to it. Basically, she wanted to embarrass me but, at the same time, another person, defending me, told me that this is also one of the personalities that not everyone carries.
These small incidents make me believe that the whole world cannot be wrong. They make me believe that being outspoken for right or wrong is part of your personality, or I can say, your own choice. It’s fine to not be accepted by all, it’s okay to take the bullet.
Do believe in yourself and keep doing stupid things like watching reels (no offense), it might actually lift your mood or motivate you.