Who should be responsible if a flower gets plucked, thrown, and crushed? Should it be a plucker or crusher? No, don’t you dare to blame it on them (who mercilessly, recklessly, inhumanly pluck and throw it), rather blame it on the flower itself for getting bloomed beautifully. No? Why not? I’ve been seeing this for ages (since 2012, and nothing has changed yet).
From the 2012 Delhi gang rape and murder to the 2020 Hathras gang rape, has anything really changed? Not really!
In the book named “The Beauty Myth,” the author Naomi Wolf writes, ‘Beauty provokes harassment, the law says, but it looks through men’s eyes when deciding what provokes it.’ True that no? It’s always been about the rapists’ eyes, mentality, mindset, and thoughts. ALWAYS! It is not restricted to clothes, caste, religion, city, or whatsoever; the rape happens as much among the poor, rural, illiterates as among the rich, urban, and the so-called elites. Rapists (and biggies, including ministers and judges) have all sorts of excuses and justifications for this sinful act.
On September 14, 2020, a 19-year-old girl from Hathras was brutally raped and murdered by four men. It didn’t stop there; it is claimed that the culprits even broke her spinal cord, gouged her eyes, and cut off her tongue during the rape. She was later cremated by the police, while the helpless, distraught family was locked up in their house, begging to see her one last time. The police poured petrol and kerosene to bring up the flames and burnt her into a cinder. The family also alleged that the police cremated the body forcefully against their wishes.
On top of that, Hathras case UP Police officials even forced grieving parents to cremate the body overnight saying, ” I am from Rajasthan, in our culture, we don’t keep the body for long. Baaki sab aap dekh lijiye (rest is up to you).” The victim’s brother said, “My father had almost fainted and was lying on a charpoy here when the cremation took place, the person at the site of the cremation was someone else.”
The police reportedly told the family, “Aap log maaniye ki aap logon se bhi galti hui hai” (you should accept that you too have done some wrongs.) Besides, The District Magistrate told the family that the “media will leave in 2-3 days,” it is up to them to change the statement.
When I read about this case a few days back, honestly speaking, the gruesome details left my conscience shaken. When I read about the brutality and injuries on the girl’s body, I was mortally scared of imagining the incident. The pain is beyond what you and I can even imagine. You call it RAPE? No, I can’t call it that. I call it MURDER, a brutal murder of humanity, innocence, dreams, justice, and a precious gift this world had. I rather call it inhumanly toying with a body, not thinking that there’s a soul that wanted to live, that wanted to achieve something. I want to understand (really bad) why the culprits don’t look deep within while committing such a heinous crime. Don’t they feel agony thinking what if something like this had happened to their friend, girlfriend, sister, daughter, and mother?
That being said, I don’t get why she was too being named Nirbhaya. Nirbhaya AFAIK means fearless, right? Is any woman in this country fearless? How can they be after seeing all this? Isn’t it strange that in a country where people burn people in the name of religion, inauspiciousness if one touches a cow, but if a girl gets touched, she gets burned? And I am not getting why people are including caste into this? Rape is rape; the assault trauma feels the same irrespective of religion, caste, color, and all this crap. Rape has nothing to do with the caste; it is the apparent destruction of a human’s consent, no?
“Due to all these, men who don’t rape women are considered special, men who don’t cheat are considered special, men that treat women with equality are considered special, men who cook and take care of her wife and kids are considered special, but if you see it normally, this is what a normal man should be like, no? But the current scenario has compelled us all to think this way.” Strange!
The causes, they give us: You’re outspoken, you’re friendly, you’ve so many guy friends, you dress provocatively, you roam alone at night, you drink too much, you party more, you do this, you do that!
The solution they give: Don’t step outside after it’s dark, don’t be dominant, watch yourself (your actions, your dress), walk rightly (I don’t know what it really means, seriously), don’t invite attention, carry pepper spray, learn self-defense, carry a rape whistle, and more.
The REAL cause: Sick mindset, lack of public safety, victim stigmatizing, encouraging rapists with ‘PROVOKING’ speeches, asking rape victims to compromise, legal loopholes, and more.
The REAL solution should be: Teach men the difference between ‘He raped her’ and ‘She’s been raped’ that’s it!
Some blame it on food, some blame it on unemployment, and if nothing works, they blame it on women.
You know what!
STOP BLAMING IT ON OTHERS, ASK MEN TO BE MEN FIRST (OR AT LEAST HUMANS)!
Let me hit you with a harsh truth – People say that ‘enough with candle marches, speeches, tweets, and hashtags, it’s time to get real but deep within, we all know that nothing has really changed. Nothing has really changed from 2012 (Jyoti gang rape case) to 2020 (Hathras gang rape case).
We often hope things will change, but hoping things will change won’t change a thing, our actions will. Rather than just hoping, let’s teach men the meaning of respect, consent, and the difference between right and wrong, and most importantly, the difference between: “HE RAPED HER and SHE HAS BEEN RAPED.”