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Your 101 On How To Deal With Self-Doubt

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The self-doubts! They have been bothering us, humans, for so long, from the early ages. I remember the early man’s story taught to me in third grade. The early man was a hunter then, and the circumstances made him be a farmer, cultivating crops, living in harmony and peace, being civilized rather than being wild.

What If Self Doubt Had Made Early Humans Choose Differently?

But my question is- What if something forced him to opt to farm rather than going on a hunt and lose some of his own people, getting killed in action while chasing the beast! If something forced him to act in a more civilized way rather than acting wild?

All I’m trying to contemplate is that what if the ‘self-doubts’ he had on his mind made him choose differently & act differently. The things he was seeing around him happening, observing them, and analyzing them could have planted the first seed of self-doubt in his mind. Doubts like

Would I be able to come alive from this hunt?

Would I be able to get the authentication and respect of the people around me?

Would I be able to make any difference if I keep acting uncivilized?

And many “Would I be” that we can’t even imagine.

Doesn’t this “Would I be” resemble a typical but the strongest form of “Self-Doubt”? Indeed! It does. Self-Doubt is not a modern-day concept. It has been there since the origin of life- try thinking of the very first creature, got craved by the life-giving beauty of nature, kicking & alive!

The question is, how to deal with these doubts you have when you are completely exhausted from the inside- mentally and emotionally? Representational image.

The Beauty Of Self Doubt Is Worth Noting

What do you think, wasn’t it having a “Would I Be” inside it, from the very first moment it felt alive? Don’t you think it had wondered too- Would I be able to survive here, of where It didn’t even know what is beneath it!

Just know my concern for you! You’re a beautiful soul fed with lies that the self-doubts are harmful, and they drain you into the darkness and confines you to your lowest level of creativity and make you live your lives to the low standards- emotional & mental levels.

But I’m going to tell you the beauty of Self-Doubts how you can deal with them in a courageous and positive way.

 “The Self-Doubt is like that mirror which shows you about what your limitations are, what you’re afraid of achieving or losing what you have.”

There is one powerful thing working around us, ‘The Law of Attraction of Universe.’ It attracts whatever you’re feeling or having desperate thoughts about to you- Let’s say, you’re thinking of not spilling the glass of water so hard on your mind, but even thinking so hard about not doing it, you spill it anyway.

 “The Law of Attraction doesn’t acknowledge the “not” in the sentences. It just takes it like- you want to spill the water on the table. You need to be very careful while you wish for anything for yourself. You need to be positive in a way while you ask the universe for something, Period.”

You Are Perfect In Your Own Ways

The question is, how to deal with these doubts you have when you are completely exhausted from the inside- mentally & emotionally?

Here’s the thing- The early man we talked about earlier, changing everything he does, surely, would have been the one who has had worked on these self-doubts in a positive way and turned them into the checklist for himself, instead.

He would have made his mind clear that if he’d keep sitting on his butt, just thinking and feeling pathetic about him in having all these self-doubts or realizing of the things that he’s unable to do, it would never help him grow and in turn, he would not be able to make any difference than the others around him who are just not tired enough to treat themselves in a way worse than being pathetic.

He would have taken steps bravely, knowing that it’s important to overcome all those self-doubts troubling him in his growth, being a better version of him. Thus, making a chance to give you a better world that you live in today.

And that spirit! Don’t you lose it just because you haven’t figured it yet, the way to conquer your inner demons?”

First, of first, stop feeling pathetic about yourself, Right Now & Right Away!

You’re perfect in your own ways, and these self-doubts can be overcome easily. I mean, didn’t you once have a doubtful fear of falling into that 2 feet wide pit! But you kept thinking of the ways to just jump it off, and one day, you just jumped it off fine. You overcame your fear and stopped doubting yourself any more about it.

“Why not try that to overcome the doubts you are having right now when it’s time you need the most to fight the demons within you?”  Why hold back now!

What’s holding you back now?

It’s you who’s treating yourself down and giving others a chance to feed on your insecurities and make your condition worse. Just rise energetically enough to gather yourself up to have whatever you’ve always wanted or wondering about right now.

Give yourself enough courage to push off the limits that you’ve set for yourself. The world is so beautiful with you giving yourself a chance and enough courage to overcome your self-doubts.

You can do it by- Being with the people who are really there for you with all their heart and love to support your growth. They are the one that would never feed on your insecurities, instead makes you talk to them about what’s bothering you and helps you straight to get over the fuss going on your mind.

It’s Okay To Give Yourself Time To Figure Things Out

 “You can go through all the sufferings alone.

 But you don’t have to be alone in the process.”

The worst thing that you do to yourself is cutting off from the rest of the world in agony & fear of facing people. Thus, isolating yourself. You need to know this – It’s okay to isolate yourself to figure it out. What is it that really matters to you?

But the moment you realize it, you should come back to the mainstream immediately because the longer you’d be in isolation, the more it will draw you to the darkness where thoughts are dizzy, and sometimes you just end up being in depression. Anxiety catches you and feeds on you, making your inner self shallow by filling the deep, vast ocean of your comprehension abilities.

Just figure it out and come straight back to the people you feel understand you. You need to share their positivity to make yourself feel positive too. And, the people who love you truly are never going to make you feel down about yourself, asking them to help you grow and share their positivity with you whenever you needed it. But stay away from the people who feed on your insecurities to make you feel less about yourself. It’s important for the process.

Now, you must be thinking about the positive people around you that you can count on!

There’re no such criteria for finding them, they just exist for the greater good of yours, and you’ll just get that feeling by yourself. It can be anyone- your parents, your brother, your sister, your friend, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, a stranger, or anyone…!!

Make A Note To Yourself Today 

You’re going to get through what you’re afraid of.

You’re never going to feel pathetic about yourself.

You’re strong enough to overcome the insecurities within you.

You’re going to stay firm to the courage in you.

You’re going to stay firm to the kindness in you.

You’re going to promise that you’d be kind to yourself first.

You’re going to stay away from the people who make you feel less about yourself.

You’re not going to let anyone treats you badly.

“It is going to work for you. You’ll be strong again. These self-doubts are a chance to make you grow more and to be a better version of yourself than yesterday you were. Don’t let them draw you to the complete darkness. Give yourself a light.”

Feature Image Source: Canva
Image is for representation purposes only.
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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

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A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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