What is shame?
A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour. A regrettable or unfortunate situation or action so says the Oxford Dictionary.
A particularly wrong or unacceptable action or inaction can be shameful. Breathing is not shameful; we breathe to survive. Giving birth is not shameful; reproduction is the creation of life. Yet, there appears to be a universal fascination with the menstrual cycle which attracts shame at varying degrees of shamefulness. With shame, comes feelings of sadness, worry, isolation, loneliness, fear, confusion, withdrawal, self-disgust, vulnerability, regret, etc. Need I say more?
“Periods Are Power, So Are The Food Cravings”
Periods prepare the uterus for pregnancy and are integral to the health and functioning of the female reproductive system. So, females bleed once a month. Well, they bleed, they also get the odd or frequent piercing headache, an unwelcome rise in temperature (summer during winter), a worrying and indescribable pain in the lower abdomen (the word ‘cramps’ does not do justice to the pain), bloating and so much more.
But, it’s not all gloomy. Periods are power. So are the food cravings. And the glowing skin.
But then again, period blood is not beautiful. No, it is not. Females don’t tend to look forward to that one time of the month.
Despite the ‘buts’, the menstrual cycle is also a magical power – an integral one. The length of a period or the colour of the blood flow (amongst other things) can be indicative of the state of a woman’s health. Depending on the circumstances, when the pattern of a woman’s period grinds to a halt, this can be indicative of a potential health problem e.g. related to reproductive health or diabetes, etc.
Millions Of Young Women Lack Menstrual Awareness
But, here’s the thing. I, alongside millions of females, feel a tremendous amount of pain in our hearts because our sisters’ rights to human dignity across the world are being severely compromised. Our hearts hurt because:
– many (millions) of our sisters are not taught about menstruation by their families or their schools. Naturally, those sisters are hit with fear when they see blood stains on their clothes when they get their first period. Imagine feeling as though you are dying because your innocence has taught you that blood can only mean one thing: death. Imagine the fear in our little sisters’ hearts.
– there are girls who are segregated from their families including their brothers and their fathers because they are regarded as ‘dirty’ when menstruating. Imagine being shunned to one corner so as to be punished for a biological process that you have no control over. Imagine our sisters not having a voice when those that try to overpower them with their bizarre and outrageous opinions, succeed in overpowering and controlling them. Imagine our sisters are being treated like prisoners (to some extent) in their own home by being ostracized for bleeding once a month.
There are families who refuse to eat food cooked by a menstruating female family member. Imagine being made to feel as though you are infectious and unclean without reason.
In India, Once A Month Millions Of Girls Do Not Attend School
There are girls who are too ashamed to walk out of an important boardroom meeting, a courtroom or any work environment for that matter when they start their period or are sensing discomfort during menstruation because of the fear of being left feeling embarrassed for having to explain why. Imagine being unsure as to whether period pain counts as a sufficiently justifiable ‘illness’ for taking time off work.
That is just a glimpse into why our hearts hurt for our sisters. Just a tiny glimpse.
In India, by way of a few examples, once a month millions of girls do not attend school, are not permitted to enter places of worship and cannot even stand near food because of a belief that the food may begin to rot. God help the pickle jar. Don’t put your hands in the pickle jar. In the UK, period shame is both ‘home-grown’ and stems from foreign cultural attitudes towards menstruation.
Bullying and teasing at school, affected performance at work are again, just a glimpse. I know that there are many girls like me who have experienced the sheer sense of panic and worry when in pain due to periods but not knowing what to say in a corporate environment (note to girls: excuses like “I’m having stomach pains” or “I’m having a headache” or “I think I’m having a fever” (because of the crazy temperature that we reach) don’t quite do the pain justice at times.
I know some people might say: “Well, women should lead the way and break the stigmas themselves by being unafraid and fearless”. Easier said than done. *rolls eye. *hair flick. *walks away.
It is unfair to turn the fight for menstrual dignity into a blame game. We have to be forward-looking. However, it is vital that the world understands and acknowledges that menstruation needs positive attention rather than the opposite. Females of all ages, ethnicities and cultures should be able to embrace their bodies (their property!) with dignity and without any restrictions or opinions.
It is a fact that you and I would probably not be alive if it were not for a woman’s menstrual cycle. If it is natural, how can it be wrong? We are not going to change the world overnight and we are not trying to. We just want to send one basic message to society: we can all work together as a society to erase those painful feelings of humiliation or distress because the truth is, the menstrual cycle is not an unfortunate situation or action.
We need to cultivate a level of respect but can only achieve this through collaboration. Universal perceptions of the menstrual cycle can only ever really change if the same universe is prepared to make a change. Period.
The author is an English barrister at an International law firm and a volunteer at Binti International.