I have a phobia of those mathematics questions that I feel will engulf me someday. Even today I get afraid of those RD Sharma maths books lying all around me as if they are coming to engulf me.
I struggled with mathematics even though I studied it a lot throughout the year.
But I would start with my class 3rd maths exam when I first discovered my discomfort with the subject. It was a unit test of 35 marks and I got just 21(those days, scoring 21 would feel like I failed because it was a small class ). As I reached the 6th grade, my grades went lower in mathematics (can be said like class is inversely proportional to math grades).
But lower grades never meant that my preparation was low. In fact, out of 365 days, my mathematics practice used to run for about 200 days. But it is well said that if the fear of something lands inside you in childhood, it never leaves you.
Passing 10th boards with a good percentage is no less than a space mission in India. So the same mission started inside my house and school and continued for a year.
10th grade was the most stressful time period anyone can experience. Every day you are on a call with someone who has already passed his 10th with good grades and he is clearing your doubts about exams. But wait, let me take you a few months back, to the half-yearly exams of 10th grade. This time, it was not a matter of bad grades in mathematics, but maths pushed me away from the boundary line. Yeah, I got 25 out of 80 in maths and how much are the passing marks? 27! Right?
This was my result in maths after a line-by-line practice of the NCERT book three times, because the full question paper was based on the RD Sharma book. Now, the task was to tell my parents about my marks, so I took the help of dialogues that every smart Indian child makes to his parents I said “papa, class Ke 50% se jyada bacche fail hain maths Mai“(father, more than 50% students of the class failed in maths). Then like every Indian father, he asked “then you are among those ‘more than the 50s’ or remaining ones”? I said, “I got 25 marks“. I think the rest you can predict.
Now board stress was at its peak and tension level was high and my exams started. Oh sorry, not exams “the board exams ” or mission Mangal. I was under stress like everyone who comes in 10th someday with a bag of tension already loaded over their head. Maths exam was there and I got late to the exam hall, already lost a pen, saw wrong room number that day, and much more happened before my exam even started. I saw the question paper and It was super simple. That was the first day when I thought that solving maths NCERT 4-5 times actually worked.
Now result day. we were super tense once again. Relatives had already started calling my parents and the same problem was there in each house “the relatives calling each second.” Then problems started coming our way. On the one side, relatives were calling me (even those who never called me to say ‘how are you?‘ were now calling to ask ‘how is your result?‘)and on the other hand, CBSE’s website crashed.
Finally, I got my result and that space mission was passed (yey! Percentage above 90).
Mom said “11th-grade syllabus is even vast than that of 10th, and boards will again come in 12th. Go and study.”
Ultimate thing is, these space missions come every year after 10th grade, so a single sheet of paper or one bad performance cannot decide your future.