When life exposes us to sudden grief, a lull occupies our senses which pushes us deep into depression, that seems like a journey that wouldn’t end and there are clear effects that reflect on health. Be it irregular breathing, palpitations, a sinking feeling, and above all, a sudden dislike for the world and a feeling of futility.
One starts feeling that this wouldn’t end. Then comes a moment when we decide, “no, it can’t go on like this, I can’t keep sitting where life smashed me, I can’t pity myself on the helplessness”. Then you suddenly get up with full force with a determination that “I will set everything right”, only to find yourself wailing in more pain and unwillingness to move on.
Everything hurts — the heart, mind, life, soul — because you pushed yourself out too forcefully. At that moment, you have two ways:
Walking is difficult, but that’s where the solution is. As you keep walking, you realise that the new things you come across and the old things you restart distract you from the depression. Eventually, no solution is found; rather, the anxiety adds on.
So now you feel anxiety and pain and a hidden depression inside. This may be the worst and the darkest time of your recovery, but the only way out is to keep walking. Do what it takes but keep walking. As time passes and your body and mind get trained to accept that you are determined to walk, what may come, they start programming themselves according to the work you do in the present.
Slowly, depression nullifies and pain subsides. Only anxiety remains, which can be taken care of by meditation, walks, family, friends, laughter, travelling, goals, sports and everything that keeps you alive in the present without worrying about the past or future.
Healing isn’t a Patronus with a wand, but a process in which you do you. You work on yourself, nourish yourself, allow your self to flow surrendered unto life. All it needs is self-love, which gives you the reason to heal, and immense strength, usually a collection of support from loved ones and your willingness to heal.
Note: Society and social conditioning don’t support the process of healing, for they exaggerate grief in terms of rights and wrongs, irrespective of the suffering someone goes through.