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The Magic Of Self-Earned Happiness: Why We Depend On Others To Make Us Feel Good

“I won’t be happy if I get to meet my best friend,” ” I won’t be happy if I don’t get to go outside.” Have you realised a pattern here and a common reason for our own happiness? Note the word ‘if’ in these statements as well as the common reason being ‘we will be happy only if an external event is associated with it’ i.e. meeting one’s best friend and not being able to go outside. Of course, going out is important and it is surely hard to stay indoors all the time, but one should learn to create one’s own happiness that does not depend on ‘going outside’.

Happiness is something that comes from within. You can say if someone or something makes you happy, but one puts an expectation each time that person or situation is supposed to make you smile. And if that person or situation fails to do so, then your happiness is destroyed. My point being, it is alright to be happy because of someone or something. However, do not make it a habit, create your own happiness if they fail.

We must begin to think of our own self, nobody has the right to destroy your million dollar smile even if it is your own parents screaming at you. We have to create that little bundle of joy once again. It might be hard initially, but give it a try? Don’t forget that it is alright to feel sad on some days, but you have to get back on track by reaching out to people for help or engaging in fun activities such as listening to music, practicing mindfulness or even relaxing.

Sometimes, one can find it hard to be happy again when they have gone through something traumatic. Then, of course, please do vent it away so that you feel free and happy once again. One tip from my side, even if you have an online movie planned with your best friend and she cancels last minute and you are all ready with popcorn and coke, do not feel disheartened, continue watching it alone, have fun alone. This was a huge realisation I had recently and it felt amazing to know this.

Last but not the least, happiness is something that will do wonders. It is not possible to be happy all the time, but when you do experience this emotion, it feels magical.

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