This post has been self-published on Youth Ki Awaaz by Aishwarya Sandeep. Just like them, anyone can publish on Youth Ki Awaaz.

Of WhatsApp, Snores And Faith: What My 8 Year Marriage Taught Me About Love

More from Aishwarya Sandeep

This is written by someone who is married to a wonderful person for the last 8 years with two lovely kids. I do not fit into the normal definition of the society and therefore my definition of Love and Valentine is something different. You may or may not relate to the same but I would love to share my experience.

I had an arranged marriage in the year 2013. I had barely met my husband for 45 mins before I said yes. (I feel that was the wisest thing that my husband did, if we had met for a longer duration, I am worried he may have changed his decision).

Marriages and relationships anywhere in the World are a gamble. You may either hit a jackpot and still manage to become bankrupt because you were too careless with your prize or you may win a moderate amount and manage to live off luxurious with the same, due to your wise savings. Nobody can predict the Happily ever after, neither movies nor novels.

If I were to define love this Valentine, I can say that Love is definitely not something that can be defined. It is the invisible glue that binds you to a person. Representational image.

I never read romantic novels per se. My idea of romance and love was mostly the lead characters of Danielle Steel’s Novels, whose characters always had strong and independent women, who managed to stand on their feet irrespective of the circumstances. The pandemic was tough on every single individual in its own way. It was tough even for us. Just slightly better from a lot of other people.

Emotional trauma, mental stress, work stress, handling the meltdown of children and their everlasting energy. At the end of the day, it did drain us. When you are inside a house for so many months, with your own schedule and barely any communication directly with each other, it does take a toll on your relationship. Just because he was working from home did not mean that we spent a lot of time together.

We had our own share of fights, we had our share of misunderstandings, outbursts and meltdowns. I started my own startup in the month of September 2020. Till then I was a headless blogger, but now I am an Entrepreneur and trust me the journey would not have been easy without my husband’s support.

The author and her husband. Image provided by the author.

What Is Love?

In the last 8 years, one thing I have realised is Love is not what happens in Karan Johar Movies. It is much beyond that and unseen. Love for me has been a strong agent that binds your relationship.

A person cannot be in a relationship if you do not have respect, trust and space. Respect is obviously essential for any human being for his survival. But when I say respect, it also means that we appreciate the differences. Our movie choices, our song choices, our food preferences are entirely different. I love to read and write and he barely reads my work. Even today, more than direct communication, our communication is more through WhatsApp. The last movie that we saw together was in the year 2018 I suppose and the last vacation that we had been together was in the year 2015 with our families. The last time we went on a so-called date was during our honeymoon.

Yet, we are two happy individuals, who are very happy in this marriage. If you want to ever understand, what is the depth of love and relationship, do not read those sponsored articles on social media that say that if your spouse doesn’t make plans to spend time with you, he is not into you. Sorry to burst your bubble but those articles are written by brands to sell their products and services. One of the best parts about our relationship is that we both have our freedom and limitations and communication and dialogue is always open.

If I were to define love this Valentine, I can say that Love is definitely not something that can be defined. It is the invisible glue that binds you to a person.

Distance also plays a minimal role in the relationship. Even during the pandemic, when we both were working from home, we both were sitting in two different rooms throughout the day. His work would start early morning and end later in the night. I would be drained with keeping the kids engaged and taking care of my work and therefore the amount of time that we spent together was much lesser than what we would have had spent, when he was going to office. So it was as good as a long-distance relationship because even though you are physically around you do not have a moment to spare with each other. But it is the same faith, respect and love that would help us sail through this pandemic. This April, we will complete our 8th Wedding Anniversary.

Like Every Valentines Day, I would be getting nothing except loud snores at night. Yes, the reality of long-lasting marriages is masked under snores and farts.

You must be to comment.

More from Aishwarya Sandeep

Similar Posts

By AlishaMordhaya

By Urmila

By Meghali Saikia

Wondering what to write about?

Here are some topics to get you started

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

Share your details to download the report.









We promise not to spam or send irrelevant information.

A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

Sign up for the Youth Ki Awaaz Prime Ministerial Brief below