TW: Sexual assault
His hands slipping down my belly, going underneath my panties. I hated that touch. I wanted to shout and run to my mother, but he didn’t let me go away. He kept scaring me by saying that he will kill me if I share it with anyone. I was so scared and helpless. I kept pleading Pravin bhaiya to not do this, it was paining. But. He never listened.
I couldn’t handle it anymore and I shouted, “HELP!” Suddenly, I felt someone grabbing me by my hands and shaking me. “Are you okay?” I heard a voice. A voice of a man, but it was not him. “Are you okay, baby?” he shook me again and I opened my eyes in shock.
“Did you have that nightmare again?” asked Aditya. I hugged him and cried for long. Aditya is my husband for two years. And that dream wasn’t just a dream. It was my reality when I was a child. I often see that dream but I never tell Adi about it. Whenever he asks me, I tell him different stories about murders or seeing monsters. I have been dealing with this pain since my childhood, keeping it a secret, hiding it from everyone, till today.
Why am I sharing it today?
Because something happened to me today and I couldn’t stop myself from taking action against it. Today, a school boy in his uniform pinched my buttocks in a crowded bus. When I turned back and saw him smiling at his misbehaviour, I couldn’t control my anger. For a moment, I saw Pravin (that monster from my childhood) in him and I felt today is the time to stop him forever.
I stared right into his eyes and gave him the hardest slap I could give. Then, I told the driver to take the bus to a nearby police station. At first, he was reluctant, but when a few other women on the bus started shouting, he had to do it. I filed an FIR against him and the police called his parents, too. His parents were so ashamed of their son’s action and said sorry to me many times.
For a moment, I thought of letting the boy go, but then the image of Pravin came to my mind and I thought, “If not today, then when?”
The police booked him for his misconduct and I came home feeling relieved. Today evening, when my husband came home, I hugged him and asked him to sit down and told him about my nightmare. He looked at me, we both had tears in our eyes, and he said, “I wish I could do anything to make you feel better.”
I asked him to not worry and told him about that morning’s incident. He said, “You’re a brave woman. Never be scared to fight against injustice. I will always be by your side no matter what comes.” Then he said, “Why don’t you share your pain with the world so that parents can be more aware and kids can be stronger to fight against such evils.”
So here I am, writing this.
Dear kids, never get scared of such monsters, fight against them. Share your experiences with your parents or close friends. If you don’t do that, the monster will grow bigger and stronger. If you tell your parents, we all can together kill that monster forever.
And dear parents, please trust your kids when they share such incidents with you and take immediate action. It could be a close relative, a school bus driver, a friend or even a teacher at school. Your kids are your responsibility. Once you break their trust, you can never gain it again. Please beware of the people in your surroundings.