Kyunki ladka hai vo, kyunki jawan hai vo, kyunki naadan hai Abhi, kyunki boys will be boys, kyunki Ghar chalata hai vo, kyunki ladka hai vo! I have been told and warned since I was a kid. I was told my limits, told my boundaries! Told things I shouldn’t do or say! Told to be fearful of the men and society! Told to keep quiet! Told to sacrifice! Told to be suppressed and ask no questions at all! because, “maa baap hain hum tumhare, agar kuch bol rahe hain toh ache ke liye.” Thanks to society for aggressively raising the men they are today. Women with stories of abuse are finally talking. Not all of them are strong enough to go to the police, but they are speaking up. They are survivors. They are changing our world. I don’t understand what would be the difference if only these ‘maa baaps‘ would like to tell the same thing to the boys in our homes and our society. Why can’t we empower them to respect every gender, caste, religion, colour, or race? Why can’t we teach them manners, just like we teach our daughters? Why can’t we tell them not to leave the house after 8 pm? Don’t tell your daughters to wear clothes covering their body; tell your sons not to stare. The world won’t give a damn what a girl is wearing but will surely voice against your mentality because this isn’t the place where I or my daughter or anybody’s daughter would want to be. When we girls don’t tell you what to do, what to wear, where to go, when to go… don’t tell us too! This world is bigger and beautiful than the time restrictions for girls, then the clothes they are wearing, then the guy applying nail paint, then people getting tattoos.
Understand what equality means, understand when you say, “arey hum toh apne ladke ladki se ek saman pyaar karte hai.” Understand that isn’t ek saman until you really mean it. Until your son is going on night outs with his friends and your daughter isn’t allowed to even talk to boys. Understand if your kids don’t want to study maths and science and want to take humanities instead. Understand what your kid loves; understand why is he/she special. Understand what treating your son and daughter equally is like. No rocket science it is. Why can’t we stop judging people on the choices they make for themselves? Why can’t we do we? Happiness isn’t the same for everyone. Prepare them for the world and not for the “what people will think“! For speaking up against the issues!
Tell them to ask questions, to explore, to be confident, to talk to people. iske baad izzat apke pass khud chalke ayege. I promise they won’t disappoint you. Don’t ask for respect; show them why they should respect you. And why they shouldn’t respect someone who always asked them to keep quiet, to be suppressed. Why they shouldn’t respect someone who can’t see his own daughter in short clothes. And for all men, “If my shoulders and legs seem inviting, so know… it’s not me; it’s the rapist mentality you have.” You will need new hashtags: #notallmen isn’t going to work anymore because #notallwomen are buying the entitled victim complex.