Mental health is the most ignored attribute when it comes to Indian household women, my mom being one of them and excelling at being the best mother. It’s purely because the word “mental” is disregarded. The happy Indian family never feels the need to introspect what our mind is deprived of.
We were a family of four until my sister and I got married, and we became six. I now also have a lovely son.
As an Indian family, we have always worked and thrived very hard for sticking together; the other side of the world still frowns if sons stay with their parents after their 20s or their marriage. Still, the fascinating truth is it’s indeed a beautiful concept of generations staying together under one roof.
But we aren’t here to discuss this. My anger and concern are I wished we spoke to our mom about what bothered her beyond the cliff before she left us on 26 June, 2020.
It all started around 30 years ago when my mom was detected with diabetes and blood pressure issues while conceiving my younger sister. Since then, medicines have held her more than people. Diabetes affects almost 17% of the population in India.
I was hoping you could read this till the end, stick around because you could quickly put yourself in the place I always was since my mother was struggling with her mental health and stress.
We never talk to our moms after a specific time and age. Forget effective communication; at least call them to say “Hi”. Chatting with her every day will not only keep an existing relationship healthy, but it will also help a frayed relationship get more substantial. Talking always helps to cope, help, identify, solve problems and make each other feel better.
Isn’t just listening to her sometimes important?
Respect and appreciate them for everything. Respecting will boost and satisfy their inert most emotion. Listen very attentively to their needs, desires and concerns and show by acting on them. Our mothers do countless things for us, and we will never be able to pay back for her favours. The least we could do is shower unconditional love and care.
Give them all the time they need with their grandchildren. Spending time with grandparents fosters intergenerational family connection. This unbolts the door for grandparents and grandchildren to learn and maintain a healthy and safe relationship with people who differ significantly in age. Many lessons can be learned along the way of forging this special relationship.
Rice is the staple of South India. But we need to get this straight that our diets need a makeover. There’s no denying that South India loves its rice. But there are enormous studies that warn us to use caution while piling our plates with the refined version of this staple grain.
A lot of people in India have diabetes. Ever wondered why? Some doctors say that this is because the Indian body is prone to diabetes, just like some cars may guzzle more fuel or give you less mileage. After all, that’s how they’re built.
Sedentary living and bad eating habits have only made the problem dramatically worse. However, a recent and disturbing study conducted by Harvard University has established that consuming just one cup of white rice (polished rice) every day can put you at risk of diabetes, regardless of your nationality or whether you have a family history of the disease. Since rice is our staple food, the study’s implications can have a tremendous long-term impact on the way India eats.
Your diabetologist never wants you to heal — because that’s what they have learned to preach. Before you jump the chair off, it’s true. To understand, we all know that insulin is released every time we eat. Insulin helps control blood glucose levels by indicating the liver, muscle and fat cells to glucose from the blood. Insulin, therefore, allows cells to take in glucose to be used for energy.
If the body has sufficient power, insulin signals the liver to take up glucose and store it as glycogen. All doctors want you to do is eat five meals a day, raise your blood sugar, raise insulin and then suppress the sugar by giving you medicines or insulin injections. There goes the never-ending never happening healing cycle forever.
The body demands more carbs and sugar — the spike is followed by a sharp dip an hour or two later, which can leave you craving more sugar and make you feel sluggish. This is why you often feel sleepy after having a doughnut with your afternoon brew or why you crave sweet treats even when you’re full from the high carb dish you’ve just had for lunch.
The alternative best approach — what happens when you don’t eat any carbs? It’s estimated that when fuelled by carbohydrates, the brain needs roughly 110–145 grams of glucose (from the breakdown of carbs you eat) per day to function optimally. Most people who follow a typical modern-day high-carb diet eat roughly twice as many carbs as their brains use, providing them with an ample glucose supply.
What happens if you eat far fewer than 110 grams of carbs per day, or even no carbs at all? Does the brain starve? Absolutely not! Your liver and muscles store glucose in the form of glycogen. Although the amount varies from person to person, an average-sized man weighing 154 lbs (70 kg) stores about 100 grams of glycogen in his liver.
When you stop eating carbs for several hours, liver glycogen is broken down into glucose and released into the bloodstream to prevent blood glucose from dropping too low. Although far more glycogen is stored in your muscles than in your liver, it remains in the muscles to meet their energy needs and can’t be released into the bloodstream to raise blood glucose.
After going 24–48 hours without any carbs, glycogen levels become depleted, and insulin levels decrease.
At this point, the liver steps up its production of water-soluble compounds known as ketones created by the breakdown of fatty acids. Ketones can be made from either the fat you eat or your body’s fat stores. The resulting ketones can cross the blood-brain barrier to provide the brain with an additional source of energy.
This means there’s another fuel source available for the brain when the body runs low on stored carbohydrates. It is highly favourable for people with diabetes to reverse its effect.
Humans don’t need any dietary carbohydrates to thrive because the brain can function much efficiently on Ketones.
Hence the four most important things, which are the reasons for high mental stress/illness, which I’m trying to point out below are intricate for us to identify, help, support and care for our mothers if they suffer from diabetes:
Health is the most important. My mom never learned from her doctors to control her diabetes and hogged on the high carb diet. The sad part is that diabetes never stops at itself; it opens the entrance to various cardiovascular problems, including coronary artery disease with chest pain (angina), heart attack, stroke and narrowing of arteries (atherosclerosis).
If you have diabetes, you’re more likely to have heart disease or stroke. My mom suffered from mild infarction.
A happy and loving family around builds a strong family relationship and is a source of comfort, guidance and strength that you can draw on in times of stress. Likewise, they provide a sense of belonging and unconditional love you are not likely to find anywhere else.
There’s nothing like family. The people we’re related to by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, our most significant sources of love and support. However, our interactions with family are often filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering.
Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made, and that’s where they keep appearing. And this is why emotional intelligence (EQ) succeeds where other efforts at family harmony fail.
It is an influential element in the family because it puts you in control of your relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. When you know how you feel, you can’t be manipulated by other’s emotions, nor can you blame the family conflict on everyone else.
Therefore, most of the techniques for improving family relationships are centred on communicating your feelings to those you care about, as close relationships are centred around feelings. Without this emotional intimacy, family contact becomes a burden because no one is comfortable spending that much time with strangers. If you want your family members to know and accept each other lovingly, you have to begin with your emotional honesty and openness.
We live in an era of generations living together. We Indians take pride in it, but conflicts are bound to happen where there is more than one person at home. Our moms are already victims of sufferings from socio-political and economic changes. Most of the time, their children neglect them in a world of a global culture focused on material life thriving for success and personal ease only.
We have to agree we are becoming more intolerant for weak, different or difficult ones — our old parents (especially moms). We have to understand and give the leverage to focus more on our parents’ sufferings than on those of ours.
Thank you for reading and appreciating my article. Make sure you give it some claps and my blog a follow if you enjoyed it, and have a great day.