“Hi”, followed by 8 pictures of an erect manhood.
“Hi”, followed by 12 pictures of an erect manhood.
Sometimes, they skip the “Hi” and simply move on to pictures of their private parts.
This is how they approach you on gay dating websites in India. There are many, and I have been using them since 2007. My journey started with Gay-dia, and from Planet Romeo to Grindr, these are the apps that have occupied all the space of my mobile phone. It has been 12 years and I have not found one genuine guy on dating websites. Maybe this is how they are supposed to work, or maybe I am unlucky.
I receive hundreds of messages every day from men flaunting their prized possessions. The majority of the ‘tops’ on gay dating websites are not gay. They will tell you that they are bisexual if you ask them. The truth is, they are here simply because they are not getting the opportunity to have sex with women. Most of them are completely straight.
Once, I met a guy on a dating platform. Upon asking him why he wants to be with me, he replied that he was just curious enough to experiment after the Supreme Court decriminalized Section 377. He further said that he just wants to have a ‘taste’ for once and know what it feels like. What does it feel like? From my perspective, it is painful both physically and mentally.
Boys, let me tell you one thing: I, or for that matter, anyone from the LGBTQIA+ community, have not opted for this orientation in any Big Bazaar Coupon just because we could not get laid. This is what we are and this is what we feel. I dress in female attires with makeup and wigs because that is who I am. I crossdress when I wear male attires- which is on weekdays- when I go to the office.
I have not come out yet, but I am trying to. Before that, I have to be sure about myself. I am on dating websites to search for the right kind of person. I am not there to taste every sausage available. Hey, tops, this is the story of most of us. So, stop sending pictures of your manhood on messages. Trust me, at this age, I have seen too many in real life.
Most of the guys think that all the bottom crossdressers are sex-hungry and they are searching for a pole. Maybe they are right somehow, because most of the so-called “crossdressers” do that. I refer to them as so-called “crossdressers” for the reason that crossdressing for them is a fetish. They don’t crossdress to express themselves, only for sexual pleasure. However, I totally support them; I don’t blame them for the mess on the dating platform. My problem is with men who think everyone is like that.
The problem with gay dating websites in India is that they are merely meeting places for sex-hungry vultures. Most of them are straight men who would have sex with anyone. I am saying this because I regularly receive questions about rudimentary queer terminologies like ‘crossdressing’, ‘bottoms’, and so on. Seriously? If you are pretending to be gay, you could at least be honest with your pretending game.
This is my request to all the gay dating platforms in India. I believe there should be more stringent filters to prevent this from happening over and over again. Conduct a quiz before someone signs up to your platform. It might hamper your business, but let me tell you, your platforms are harming the LGBTQIA+ community.
Another point I would like to add is: many don’t even start with pictures of their private parts, they ask what my “price” is. For heaven’s sake, not every crossdresser is sex-hungry, and certainly not a sex worker.