So, how did I find the mother in me? I gave birth to a baby girl. She gave birth to a mother in me. I learn a new thing every day with her. The best part is that she doesn’t even know that she has taught me so many things in life.
Being a mother brings many responsibilities along with it and I’m sure all of us want to be the best mothers for our children. Your first and foremost responsibility is to nurture your baby. Here are some things that I’ve learnt about what it means to be a mother:
A mother’s love is not just like any other love. The love of a mother towards her baby is just unconditional. You keep showering your baby with all the love that you have without expecting anything in return. When you love them unconditionally, you also set an example for them about what love actually is. The babies learn the meaning of love from their mothers and you are always going to be their first love in life.
Having spent 9 months in your womb, which has been a safe and secure environment, it’s a big leap for the babies to enter the huge, intimidating world which makes no sense to them. They feel vulnerable and look for security. Therefore, try to answer every cry of your baby as much as you can, even if you have just attended to all of their needs.
Your baby needs to know that you are there for them whenever they want you—your touch and interaction help to develop your baby’s emotional health and security.
It is very important for you to love yourself. Once you become a mother, you naturally stop looking after yourself as your time goes behind the baby and family. Therefore, take out atleast some time for yourself. A mother who never takes out time for herself will feel stressed and unloved. When she feels stressed and unloved, she is unable to love others, especially her children.
You are required to motivate your kids at all times, however, that doesn’t mean that you don’t let them fall. Let them fall and learn. You just have to motivate them to stand up and start it again. Teach them that no one is perfect. In this journey of life, you will make mistakes. But you need to admit your mistakes; get up, dust yourself off and try again.
That is how they will understand that they haven’t failed, always show them what their strengths are in life. You must always let your children know when they are doing a good job. Appreciation plays a key role in motivating them.
You must not compare your children to others as not every child is the same. If someone is good at something, it is not necessary for your child to be good at it too. It is your responsibility to figure out what they are good at and enhance that. However, I feel it is also very important that you, as a mother, do not compare yourself with other moms.
Do not try to do everything. Do minimal things but do your best in whatever you are doing. You get influenced seeing other moms on social media and try to do the same, but please understand that is not what you are and that will create a false impression about you in front of your child.
You need to keep communicating with your children about everything so that they do not feel a barrier. But you also need to understand that it is important for them to be disciplined. Be their parent, not their friend, for the first 12–15 years. Learning that discipline is a good thing, always think before you yell or hit them, or learn to live with regret.
You must maintain a gentle, non-violent discipline. When you say NO, mean it. That way, you are not raising brats.
Keep showering your children with love. Make lots of memories, click pictures, go out with them. Give them lots of hugs, that way, they will know that no matter what, they are always safe in your arms. There is a beautiful mother’s prayer in The Bible Ask, Seek, Knock:
“Ask and it will be given to you, Seek and you will find, Knock and it will be opened to you.”