Back in school, one of my class teachers took a session about “Making wise choices”, I kept that small session in mind as I made a plethora of choices while growing up. I grew up choosing my clothes, electives, friends, jobs, and every small thing that mattered to me then.
One day while I was having dinner at a family friend’s place and out of nowhere, popped the question –“What are your further plans? Excited, I started speaking about my career plans. She interrupted me midway, “When are you getting married?” I was stunned.
It felt like someone had just crashed an aeroplane into my well-presented tower of dreams. I had just started my probation at an IT firm. All that mattered to me was completing my probation successfully. Undeterred by the awkward moment she had created, she continued, “Have you chosen someone already?”She winked at me flashing the famous ‘I wanna embarrass you’ kinda smile.
My head kept hammering while my heart was beating fast. All I wanted to do was to scream at her. How dare you ask me something my parents have not mentioned yet? Trying to control my overpowering thoughts, I quickly changed the subject and left her place, vowing to never speak to her again.
Society made attempts to get the answers to all the ‘Wh’ questions associated with my marriage. I could choose my groom, my clothes, the destination, the wedding invitation cards, etc. However, they missed out on an important question, “Do you want to get married?”. Where did this choice go? Who made this choice for me? Society? My parents?
People have to change so much after getting married. There are changes to be made in all aspects. Marriage will always need one person to transplant their life to another home, city, or family. And here I am still fighting with my sibling for a bigger chocolate chunk. Moreover, being an Indian makes it our prime responsibility to adopt our spouses’ families. Building new relations while trying to hold on to your old ones can be strenuous. The duration of our most precious “Me Time” would continue to decrease with years. In no time, the growing pressure to have children drains you completely. The kind of hormonal changes and mood swings coupled with physical pain and body changes is so exhausting. The financial responsibility while handling a family can strain you mentally.
However, having a companion for a lifetime can make life easier. To build your own family and to love it abundantly can be wonderful. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities. But, if handled by the right people, it can turn out to be a blessing. Some people build loving families. However, some children get scarred by the constant banters of their parents within the four walls.
I don’t know yet if marriage is my cup of tea. And I am sure most people my age are in a similar dilemma. But, as of now, all I ask for is an option to make my wise choice.