While scrolling down to my ex-boyfriend’s crush’s timeline I again felt worthless today. But am I really worthless? Absolutely not. Because the world never tired of taking admiration from me then how I dare to call myself worthless? Just because of the beauty that a few people are unable to understand?
I am a studious kid not from my childhood but the day I get to know that I have the responsibilities of my parents and grandparents on my shoulders. From the day I decided to make my career in the field of the judiciary which demands a highly disciplined person. In the midst of all these, I crave a relationship that is supportive, encouraging, and especially the one that makes me feel proud of myself the way I am and not push me down every time whenever a beautiful girl passes our way. I guess this is not merely my story, every girl’s boyfriend has an eye on the other girl and he forgets that his actions ultimately becoming the reason for his girlfriend’s low self-esteem.
I used to be a very outrageous & joyous person and today I lost my confidence to the extent that I am not even ready to face the outside world, not wish to go to college again, left with no desire for another romantic relationship. Strange was the thing that pushed me into self-doubt. Not able to sleep, work, eat. I am trying hard on daily basis to overcome these unwelcomed conditions but again the same question strikes in my head, why he left me and chose someone else am I not worthy enough? Or am I less from someone else?
Nowadays guys run behind beauty and only beauty. But from my childhood, I always heard that beauty resides inside you but I don’t think anybody is ready to look upon that inside beauty. So what I can do to make myself beautiful? Watch youtube tutorials on natural face masks? Or follow a fashion blogger on Instagram to become a cool person?
A few days back I read an alluring quote on someone’s WhatsApp status that says if beauty and fame make the relation beautiful then all the celebrities might not be suffering from broken marriages and that hits me hard. I guess what’s beautiful is living your life on your terms. Making money, making parents proud, and above all travelling the whole. Doesn’t matter if someone hurts you or breaks your heart, that little pain inside your brain makes you more clever while selecting mortals in your life.
Does this pain matter when after ten years you will be roaming on the streets of Venice all alone and thinking about how you have managed this success that everyone only dreams of? That’s the definition of beautiful.