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6 Things About Relationships We Should Learn From Mondler

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Monica and Chandler were never perfect, they found their way out. Not everyone has that tolerance and antagonism to things, we develop with time. Chandler was frightened of commitments whereas Monica was all into marriage, but as the plot grows, we see Monica helping Chandler figure out his insecurities, and Chandler assisted Monica to comprehend his viewpoint towards life.

Likeminded people might find peace but people who never give up on each other find love. Thank you Mondler for bringing about the understanding that relationships are not manufactured, they are created with love, patience, understanding, adjustment, and sacrifices. They taught us we all come with our own set of reasons, remembrances, and pains, but being there for your s/o works. Stop anticipating others to be perfect, try your way out to comfort them, so your partner can be vulnerable to you. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard it becomes, you can still make it.

Chandler – “You’re not easy-going, but you’re passionate, and that’s good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I’m pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that’s good too. So, they can say that you’re high maintenance, but it’s okay because I like…maintaining you.

Their relationship went through many stages – courtship, engagement, marriage, buying a house, trying to get pregnant – we saw them growing to figure out even in all odds with their ever-changing relationship.

Real love is real and it deals with daily issues.

1. They Taught Us Acceptance

Just because our paths are meant to be the same,  our ideology, preferences, theories, patterns might not be. We all have our flaws, and they are supposed to be accepted first, then corrected.

Monica was a neat freak perfectionist, obsessed with children and marriage, whereas chandler was insecure, scared, confused, lazy, and messy. This is something we all can relate to. They are two completely different people, but they accept each other’s flaws without complaint. Our strength may collide, one’s weakness might irritate, but above all, you accept each other with all those flaws. That’s the beauty of being together. Complete and complement each other where they lack.

2. Change Is A Process, Not A Miracle

There will be a long list where you don’t like each other ways but expecting to change is not the only option and that too in a heartbeat. A person’s behaviors are the result of their upbringing, surroundings, education, experience, and society. And since they are practicing it for years, it is hard to identify and tune it.

Chandler did not magically become a neat freak who cared passionately about the work he did. Chandler also never complains about Monica’s obsession with cleanliness. When they first move in together, he even tries to clean the apartment for her. They do not press the other person to change, which is beneficial to their relationship. You need to understand and support first rather than nagging to change.

Hey couples, enable each other and grow together.

3. Marriage Is A Celebration To You, Not An Advertisement

No need to fall for those fancy unnecessary dramatic expensive marriage ideas unless you want to. Marriage is for the two people and their families, not to flaunt In front of society.

4. We Are All Stories Still Being Read

Just because you have something or someone that doesn’t define you as a person and that doesn’t design for future possibilities, we all grow and evolve every day. Our habits, practices, preference, and people change. Let bygones be gone and rather understand to be more cooperative, and be more supportive.

Even if you’ve known stories about your new partner’s past, you should not pass judgment on them because of their past. We all grow up, don’t we? If you reject someone based on what you’ve heard about them, you may be passing up a potential Chandler in the rough, and don’t we all want to find our Chandler?

5. It Won’t Be A Fairy Tale

Life is a roller coaster and when it comes to marriage the brakes mostly fail. Welcome to real life, it sucks. Chandler and Monica’s lives were not always easy but they made it work. Life will suck at different levels, be it friends, family, society, finance, misunderstanding, job, etc.

If you are certain that this is the person, you make it work regardless of the circumstances with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Even when things were tough, they remained united, which is what you must do to get through it. Turning on each other will lead to the end of the relationship.

6. The Weirdest Things Can Be Marvelous.

you might find your partner in the middle of a crisis or pandemic. But for sure they will be worth the struggle. Even if it didn’t start perfectly, it’s not how one would expect it to go. You wouldn’t necessarily think that this person would end up being their soul mate. Instead of dreaming for the cute-romantic Bollywood idea that they make us believe, we should accept that true love can begin with a random decision.

Waiting for the perfect fairy tale romance in your life will keep you waiting for the rest of your life. When true love appears, it is rarely wrapped in a pretty bow as you might expect. Chandler and Monica’s situation began unusually, and it was not the most desirable situation.

“So, don’t dismiss the guy at the bar who gave you his phone number or the guy you matched with on Tinder. We’re not saying you’ll fall in love, but it’s entirely possible.”

Regardless of how flawed the person or situation appears you should embrace it. Chandler and Monica would not have wind up next to each other if they had stood in line for the perfect person or event rather than embracing the wacky love story which was right across the hall.

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An ambassador and trained facilitator under Eco Femme (a social enterprise working towards menstrual health in south India), Sanjina is also an active member of the MHM Collective- India and Menstrual Health Alliance- India. She has conducted Menstrual Health sessions in multiple government schools adopted by Rotary District 3240 as part of their WinS project in rural Bengal. She has also delivered training of trainers on SRHR, gender, sexuality and Menstruation for Tomorrow’s Foundation, Vikramshila Education Resource Society, Nirdhan trust and Micro Finance, Tollygunj Women In Need, Paint It Red in Kolkata.

Now as an MH Fellow with YKA, she’s expanding her impressive scope of work further by launching a campaign to facilitate the process of ensuring better menstrual health and SRH services for women residing in correctional homes in West Bengal. The campaign will entail an independent study to take stalk of the present conditions of MHM in correctional homes across the state and use its findings to build public support and political will to take the necessary action.

Saurabh has been associated with YKA as a user and has consistently been writing on the issue MHM and its intersectionality with other issues in the society. Now as an MHM Fellow with YKA, he’s launched the Right to Period campaign, which aims to ensure proper execution of MHM guidelines in Delhi’s schools.

The long-term aim of the campaign is to develop an open culture where menstruation is not treated as a taboo. The campaign also seeks to hold the schools accountable for their responsibilities as an important component in the implementation of MHM policies by making adequate sanitation infrastructure and knowledge of MHM available in school premises.

Read more about his campaign.

Harshita is a psychologist and works to support people with mental health issues, particularly adolescents who are survivors of violence. Associated with the Azadi Foundation in UP, Harshita became an MHM Fellow with YKA, with the aim of promoting better menstrual health.

Her campaign #MeriMarzi aims to promote menstrual health and wellness, hygiene and facilities for female sex workers in UP. She says, “Knowledge about natural body processes is a very basic human right. And for individuals whose occupation is providing sexual services, it becomes even more important.”

Meri Marzi aims to ensure sensitised, non-discriminatory health workers for the needs of female sex workers in the Suraksha Clinics under the UPSACS (Uttar Pradesh State AIDS Control Society) program by creating more dialogues and garnering public support for the cause of sex workers’ menstrual rights. The campaign will also ensure interventions with sex workers to clear misconceptions around overall hygiene management to ensure that results flow both ways.

Read more about her campaign.

MH Fellow Sabna comes with significant experience working with a range of development issues. A co-founder of Project Sakhi Saheli, which aims to combat period poverty and break menstrual taboos, Sabna has, in the past, worked on the issue of menstruation in urban slums of Delhi with women and adolescent girls. She and her team also released MenstraBook, with menstrastories and organised Menstra Tlk in the Delhi School of Social Work to create more conversations on menstruation.

With YKA MHM Fellow Vineet, Sabna launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society. As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Read more about her campaign. 

A student from Delhi School of Social work, Vineet is a part of Project Sakhi Saheli, an initiative by the students of Delhi school of Social Work to create awareness on Menstrual Health and combat Period Poverty. Along with MHM Action Fellow Sabna, Vineet launched Menstratalk, a campaign that aims to put an end to period poverty and smash menstrual taboos in society.

As a start, the campaign aims to begin conversations on menstrual health with five hundred adolescents and youth in Delhi through offline platforms, and through this community mobilise support to create Period Friendly Institutions out of educational institutes in the city.

Find out more about the campaign here.

A native of Bhagalpur district – Bihar, Shalini Jha believes in equal rights for all genders and wants to work for a gender-equal and just society. In the past she’s had a year-long association as a community leader with Haiyya: Organise for Action’s Health Over Stigma campaign. She’s pursuing a Master’s in Literature with Ambedkar University, Delhi and as an MHM Fellow with YKA, recently launched ‘Project अल्हड़ (Alharh)’.

She says, “Bihar is ranked the lowest in India’s SDG Index 2019 for India. Hygienic and comfortable menstruation is a basic human right and sustainable development cannot be ensured if menstruators are deprived of their basic rights.” Project अल्हड़ (Alharh) aims to create a robust sensitised community in Bhagalpur to collectively spread awareness, break the taboo, debunk myths and initiate fearless conversations around menstruation. The campaign aims to reach at least 6000 adolescent girls from government and private schools in Baghalpur district in 2020.

Read more about the campaign here.

A psychologist and co-founder of a mental health NGO called Customize Cognition, Ritika forayed into the space of menstrual health and hygiene, sexual and reproductive healthcare and rights and gender equality as an MHM Fellow with YKA. She says, “The experience of working on MHM/SRHR and gender equality has been an enriching and eye-opening experience. I have learned what’s beneath the surface of the issue, be it awareness, lack of resources or disregard for trans men, who also menstruate.”

The Transmen-ses campaign aims to tackle the issue of silence and disregard for trans men’s menstruation needs, by mobilising gender sensitive health professionals and gender neutral restrooms in Lucknow.

Read more about the campaign here.

A Computer Science engineer by education, Nitisha started her career in the corporate sector, before realising she wanted to work in the development and social justice space. Since then, she has worked with Teach For India and Care India and is from the founding batch of Indian School of Development Management (ISDM), a one of its kind organisation creating leaders for the development sector through its experiential learning post graduate program.

As a Youth Ki Awaaz Menstrual Health Fellow, Nitisha has started Let’s Talk Period, a campaign to mobilise young people to switch to sustainable period products. She says, “80 lakh women in Delhi use non-biodegradable sanitary products, generate 3000 tonnes of menstrual waste, that takes 500-800 years to decompose; which in turn contributes to the health issues of all menstruators, increased burden of waste management on the city and harmful living environment for all citizens.

Let’s Talk Period aims to change this by

Find out more about her campaign here.

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A former Assistant Secretary with the Ministry of Women and Child Development in West Bengal for three months, Lakshmi Bhavya has been championing the cause of menstrual hygiene in her district. By associating herself with the Lalana Campaign, a holistic menstrual hygiene awareness campaign which is conducted by the Anahat NGO, Lakshmi has been slowly breaking taboos when it comes to periods and menstrual hygiene.

A Gender Rights Activist working with the tribal and marginalized communities in india, Srilekha is a PhD scholar working on understanding body and sexuality among tribal girls, to fill the gaps in research around indigenous women and their stories. Srilekha has worked extensively at the grassroots level with community based organisations, through several advocacy initiatives around Gender, Mental Health, Menstrual Hygiene and Sexual and Reproductive Health Rights (SRHR) for the indigenous in Jharkhand, over the last 6 years.

Srilekha has also contributed to sustainable livelihood projects and legal aid programs for survivors of sex trafficking. She has been conducting research based programs on maternal health, mental health, gender based violence, sex and sexuality. Her interest lies in conducting workshops for young people on life skills, feminism, gender and sexuality, trauma, resilience and interpersonal relationships.

A Guwahati-based college student pursuing her Masters in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Bidisha started the #BleedwithDignity campaign on the technology platform Change.org, demanding that the Government of Assam install
biodegradable sanitary pad vending machines in all government schools across the state. Her petition on Change.org has already gathered support from over 90000 people and continues to grow.

Bidisha was selected in Change.org’s flagship program ‘She Creates Change’ having run successful online advocacy
campaigns, which were widely recognised. Through the #BleedwithDignity campaign; she organised and celebrated World Menstrual Hygiene Day, 2019 in Guwahati, Assam by hosting a wall mural by collaborating with local organisations. The initiative was widely covered by national and local media, and the mural was later inaugurated by the event’s chief guest Commissioner of Guwahati Municipal Corporation (GMC) Debeswar Malakar, IAS.

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