From birth to adulthood, parenting has been the process of nurturing and sustaining a children’s health, psychological, interpersonal, and cognitive growth. Parenting is the least discussed topic in the nation. As of now, we could only reach family planning, birth control, and raising children.
A child is more than just a responsibility. India is among the world’s most depressed countries, as per the World Health Organization. While about 9% of adults in the report submitted have suffered from prolonged episodes of depression at least once, in a lifetime, about 36% have suffered Major Depressive Episodes (MDE).
Where do you think it all connects? Well, Rome was not built in a day neither is the condition of mental health in this country.
Bringing up children is a challenging task, and parents, just like all the other individuals, are open for interpretation. Making honest mistakes, on either extreme, is still a far cry from indulging in toxic authoritative parenting with their child. Such parents may put their kids through a lot of mental, psychological, and emotional strain. Being a child, it’s very difficult to express your emotions and needs where you are hardly taught how to.
Here in this article, I will be mainly talking about the overlooked subtle signs of toxic parenting. In most cases neither the parent nor child knows about it which makes it worse. Do give it a quick check.
Dear dad, if you failed to become a top-ranked IIT Engineer, I understand but I can’t be that, hope you understand. It is very common to see parents living their dreams through their children and there is nothing wrong with this until they share different goals. Parents need to understand those career choices and life decisions are something an individual should plan and not be imposed. Rather, sit with your child and facilitate.
Dear dad, it is toxic.
Parents don’t understand that you too have boundaries. If I am asking for my space, that doesn’t mean I am hiding something. It is because I have my concerns, emotional needs, and dependency. Even if you become my best friend, there are things I still need space for, and that doesn’t make us grow apart. It’s just how people process. As every relation needs a healthy boundary so that I can deal with and learn things on my own. Even if I am not aging as you did, I do have privacy concerns. Even if I share my things with you at times, I need to process things on my own.
Dear Dad, I need space. I am fine.
The world is growing so are the practices, beliefs, ideas, and social constructs every passing minute. It’s quite tough to work and process on the same idea somebody did years back. Even if I choose to be different and vocal about my beliefs and practices in daily life, this is not something I should be questioned for. The dynamics of society are changing every day so are the people and experiences around me just because things worked fine during your time, that doesn’t mean the ball will roll in the same direction.
Dear dad, let me create my ways and be there for me to guide.
Some parents expect their children to always perform to the highest of their abilities. But when they do, they do not receive the required appreciation from their parents. Such toxic parents tend to keep their children in a kind of complex. They expect a lot but give no praise or motivation in return. This action of toxic parenting is a source of demotivation for children too, which ultimately leads them to think that they are of no use. This trait of toxic parents can ruin their children’s futures without realizing it.
Dear Dad, I am a common man with unrealistic expectations, even iron man had Jarvis.
Begin to recognize whether your parents’ conduct has psychologically affected you as an adult child. If it assists you to remain productive, move out of the way. But please note that you can’t necessarily cut off ties with your parents. Pay close attention to their counsel, and also follow your instincts.
Dear Dad, I love you. But your ways are toxic.
Feature image is for representational purposes only.