I recently visited my best friend’s city (I’m hiding the name of her city to avoid backlash). Here I’m sharing my (personal) experiences and insights which I believe should not be a mooting point.
As I reached her city, my friend, who was coming to pick me up, got late by 20 minutes. I was standing at the bus stand which seemed dysfunctional and disfigured to me. I was standing there uncomfortable having all the eyes on me (I realised the reason later). I was wearing a shirt and a flared pant (i was anyway covered from neck to toe). Since, not even a single woman, I saw there, was not wearing burqa, this made me an alien, catching all eyes for myself, curious or sleazy. Burqa was imposed as a dress code for women. It wasn’t believable for many reasons ( I’ve got many women studying with me back in AMU, one of the most prestigious educational institutions and the conditioning of a city filled with students from AMU wasn’t acceptable for me). She came to get me, As I advanced further with her, I saw nooks and corners of that city.
We reached at her home, I was greeted there whole heartedly. I was transported with love and affection the kids gave me. I’ve never met kids being so giving, compassionate and empathetic before. I’m so grateful for the accommodation filled with utmost love and hospitality.
For the next 2-3 days I explored her city wearing burqa to save myself from the discomfort. The experience was beautiful and fulfilling. A trip which was meant to meet my best friend after 3 years has left me with some beautiful realisations and teachings.
The most important things among them were, the life muslim women are leading there. Without prejudice to the generality of forgoing –
– Many potential scholar women, I know from university, are now married and have taken over the whole household in their hands being home.
-Financial independence which should be given utmost importance in the lives of women (to empower them in the near future) is far from being in the considerations of people.
-Women are being raised to marry off as soon as they hit the age of marriage in good, rich families.
– Physical beauty is being glorified as the utmost requirement of marriage. (Money in case of men)
– Things that are being highly talked about in houses are status, money and marriages.
These are some of the glaring problems I’ve perceived in 2-3 days which not only shook me from the core but made me feel so disappointed. I myself come from a city so small where I blame the lack of education and literacy as reasons for the bad things happening (still the situation is now far more better than that of before). But the condition of this city which sends hundreds of students every year in AMU left me hopeless, dismayed and miserable.
Note : This piece is not directed to hurt the feelings of a particular community or residents of a particular city. Please note that.
And I firmly stand against purdah and blame it for many prevailing problems. It’s a fertiliser for further strengthening patriarchy. Historically Women have been so smartly brainwashed and made believe by the men, that they were very precious so they must exist behind purdah lest the men would have evil eyes on them. And I loose all the hope seeing women defending purdah by all means (I’m unstoppable, and this article is not all about purdah so that’s all)