The idea of “the right one” is very different for different people. While you can’t control whom you fall for or see what lies ahead for you two, you certainly can decide whether or not the person is right for you.
Now, I won’t say to you that at a certain age you would find a perfect partner, or maybe there would be a prince charming waiting for you… that’s ridiculous!
Don’t consider your high school crush or the person you met on Instagram and chatted for a while as “the one”. It takes much more to call someone “the one”.
Let’s get it straight: nobody is perfect! Neither you, nor me and not even the person you’re in love with. Love is all about finding a person who is imperfectly perfect for you.
There is no shortcut to find your soulmate and there’s definitely no “15 steps to know if he is your soulmate” article that works.
You would make mistakes and you would make wrong choices. You fall for someone who doesn’t love you back and maybe obsess over a person who doesn’t give a damn about you. You can give everything to that person and still, that person won’t be “the one”.
There are even possibilities where the both of you are in love and still, not be each others’ “the one”. It’s the bitter truth, let’s face it!
Bestselling American author, Richard Bach, says: “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”
The concept of “the one” depends on an individual, but if you look at the basics you would know the concept of “the one” is so much more than just love.
Your “soulmate” doesn’t have to perfect, but someone who makes you look beyond all the imperfections in the world, someone who makes you believe in the fact that there is so much beauty in this world.
You don’t have to agree with them all the time or be with them from dusk till dawn. You don’t need them to say that they love you, but you know it in the littlest things they do for you. You don’t have to give them explanations for each thing you do or ask them to trust you.
You don’t have to put on heavy makeup for to make them say “you’re beautiful” or get ready for the video calls you do. It doesn’t have to a 50-50 relationship, sometimes it can just be a 70-30 and you’re happy with it.
It’s about being who you are and letting them know that, rather than them trying to change you.
It’s about the silly little fights that they end by bringing you your favourite ice cream or you supporting them when they have nothing left.
It’s about you still choosing them even if they irritate you to no extent and them understanding that you don’t mean the words you say out of anger.
It’s about being protective and not over-possessive. It’s about not leaving your individuality when you’re in a relationship and loving yourself more than you love them.
It’s about them supporting you in the decisions you make and about the motivation they provide you with when you feel low.
It’s not about changing the other person, but bringing out the very best in them. It’s about the maturity and love you share. It’s about you two staying with each other in the worst of times and about the efforts you put into your relationship, each day.
In the end, it just comes down to friendship, trust and understanding—the key rules of any successful relationship. Now, this may all seem like having one too many expectations, but it’s weird and amazing how the world works.
One day, who knows maybe the person sitting next to you in the bus is your soulmate.
Now, this doesn’t mean you become desperate searching for love, as they say “let love find you”. Be patient enough because you would know when you meet “the one”.
All your stars would seem to have aligned, in that moment you would know that if each soul was made a pair, theirs was made for you and all the fairy tales would come true.