Years ago, I was ashamed of my body because of its colour and shape.
I have a pear-shaped body with a dark brown skin. I have stretch marks, belly fat and thick thighs. I’ve always been told that I could’ve looked better with fair skin colour, thin body, voluminous hair and many other things that are not in my control. I’ve always been insecure about them and I’ve never felt beautiful.
When I lost my virginity, I lost it to the worst guy. But till I broke up with him, sex became my requirement. I always hated my body but after I broke up, I started to find myself. I started adoring myself, staring at myself naked at the mirror. I clicked pictures of myself. At first, I didn’t like them very much, but soon, they started to turn out nice, and I started to accept myself.
I tried masturbating and I liked it, but I was ashamed of myself for this because I thought I was unable to get a partner and that’s why I am doing it myself. Then, I tried having sex with different people. I tried “no-strings-attached sex” but that didn’t work out for me as I felt disgusted after doing it.
After trying everything, I masturbated again but this time, I liked it in every way. I was satisfied, I was guilt-free and I was feeling complete. And then I realised, it is not about sex, it is about accepting who we are, it is about adoring ourselves. Now, I am single and I don’t depend on anyone else for my pleasure.
To all the people out there, if you are reading this, don’t be hard on yourself. Love yourself and accept yourself. There is no perfect type of anything. You are perfect with all the imperfections. I know there are many ways to love yourself and this is mine