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“Apna Camera On Karo”: No, Dear Teachers, I Don’t Feel Comfortable

A man is looking at his computer

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Hello readers, this is a frustrating piece of writing by a frustrated student who is frustrated by a socially and institutionally privileged so-called teacher. That Online classes educate us is a myth.

An online class is just a formality to give education. Here, everything is a formality. Teachers teach for formality and students like me study for formality. For me, it’s just a frustrating and negotiating teaching process.

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I have been depressed since the first day of online classes. At this time, I am struggling to type this.

The issue that I have faced since the second semester of my course. There’s a teacher (I don’t know if he is a teacher or not; he teaches us in a way as if someone forced him to become a teacher) who forces all of us to open our cameras during the class. And for me, in the initial days, this was amusing.

But he continued to force all of us to open our cameras. There’s a simple reason I do not open my camera and show my face — because I am not comfortable with it. Why can’t a teacher not even try to understand this?

Everyone can’t be comfortable. They don’t want to show their face. Why can’t you understand this? There’s no rocket science there. You don’t have to struggle to understand this, do you?

Let us take an example to understand the situation. The room in which I study is not a single room. I have to share it with my siblings. They aren’t interested in studies, rather are more interested in entertainment (and there’s nothing wrong with this).

Whenever they enter the room, they start to laugh or to talk to me. They do it even when I am not comfortable with it. And when I start to retaliate, they end up saying, “I know how much you study! You are just pretending to study, but you are not.”

For the sake of god, I want to cry at the top of my voice, but I can’t.

Now I have five classes, approximately one hour each. I have to look at my mobile phone continuously and put earphones in my ear. At last, I end up being a sad person at night.

Despite this, I have to cover the things which are covered in class with extra time. I have been continuously staring at my phone for almost 9–10 hours. At last, I end up being exhausted.

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Talking about teachers, one of them said they were not comfortable looking at the blank screen continuously and teaching. We students didn’t pressure them to switch on their video.

Hey, listen, if you are a teacher, you have to understand this basic thing and respect the comfort zone of your students. And if you can, do help them overcome this. Don’t put pressure on them.

Things got worse in one of my classes today. That so-called teacher asked us to switch on our videos or he would dismiss us from class. So some of the students switched on their video and those who couldn’t were dismissed from class. And it’s a depressing thing for me because I was also a victim.

There exist many reasons why they did not switch on their camera. Unfortunately, everyone is not as technologically privileged as some students are. One of the issues is that if they switch their camera on, more data will be consumed and they won’t be able to attend another class.

Others live in villages and because of the summer heat can’t always wear a shirt. Classes could be attended only in audio form. And there’s one common and the most important thing: I am not comfortable with this, Sir!

Here’s the amusing and equally disturbing thing he said: “I am taking classes so passionately and you students don’t care about this. You all are not attentive in class. Show your face until I am in class so that I can always check what you are doing.”

Dear Sir, we are students studying at a prestigious university and we are here because we all want to study as passionately as you teach us. In this morbid situation, we are all going through some mental issues along with our studies. We are all trying to be better. We are all dealing with psychosocial and psychological issues.

So, be supportive and kind. Educational institutions are already disturbed by unemotional people.

Dear Teachers, I was in extreme pain when I was dismissed from class. I was continuously searching for a person to feel relieved, and fortunately or unfortunately, I ended up writing this.

If you are reading this, please consider the dignity of your students. Don’t treat us bad. Show some empathy towards us. Don’t be a preacher, be a friend.

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