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Why Are Women Expected To Prioritise Marriage Over Career?

According to society women’s lives revolve around their marriage and having kids but what about women’s feelings and emotions. what do they want?

if not now, when?“, “It’s the perfect time to settle down.“, “This is an ideal age to get married.“, “When are you going to get married?”, “You should get married at the right age to avoid pregnancy complications.” Every single girl in her mid-20s heard these types of comments and questions by the nosy relatives, neighbors, and sometimes by a random aunty who will not leave a chance to remind you that you should not wait longer otherwise you will cross the age.

Representational Image. Women are forced to leave their work to get married and start families.

Well, this didn’t end after getting married it but the questions will be a little more personal and disturbing like when you are going to have kids and you should have kids before it’s too late. Over the years, a perfect ideal woman is portrayed as the one who can cook, take care of kids, keep the family together, and the one who has no right or freedom to make decisions. No matter how much successful you are in getting married, having kids must be at the top of your priorities list. If by any chance, you choose a career over marriage you will be tagged as a selfish or self-centered woman. Get married at 25 and have kids at 26 is all women hear most of their lives.

In the Indian context, 20 million women quit their job in 2010 -2020 for their marriage, or many of them took maternity break but never joined back.

Since March, 28% of women with kids under 18 have temporarily or permanently left their job to become primary caretakers to children.

Currently, India has the largest number of single women. there was a 39% increase in the number of single women, mothers, never married or divorced.

A 27-year-old Riya shares “I am a lawyer and my career is my top priority right now but everyone keeps forcing me to meet boys at weekends so that I can change my mind and get married whether it’s a relative or my family members. No one is ready to hear me out’’.

Pressurizing is the most common thing that Indian parents do to settle their children in their life. Sending photos of boys, creating a matrimonial account, surprise or to say sudden shock with the guy and his family over dinner, or constantly reminding you that they want to see their grandchildren’s faces before they die are some typical tricks and tactics of parents.

Why the only woman has to choose between their careers or married life?

When it comes to building a career it’s always women who find this hard and more challenging than men. I am not saying that men easily get what they want they all have their struggles. I just want to say it’s quite hard for women especially for married women because they have to maintain a proper balance between their career and marriage.

Anjali Kaur shared her experience “my boyfriend was okay with my profession and said will always support me so I assumed I will not have any problems regarding my career in future. but soon after we married my married life start affecting my professional life and I was forced to resign to keep my marriage safe.

Story of Deepali who confesses that “my husband recently lost his job leaving me the only earning member in the house. I started to do overtime which cause a lack of sleep, spending more time on my laptop that affected my health a lot not only physically but mentally too.

From successful actresses to normal job employees many women are successfully balancing their careers and marriage life. It’s hard but not impossible if women have the constant support of their family members and partner. In my opinion, if both partners are working, they should divide their workload of household chores. It will be easy for both partners to manage their personal and professional life.

There are a lot of questions people ask like how are you going to manage kids while balancing your career. many of them would recommend you to quit your job and handle kids.  But just because your having kids that doesn’t mean you have to compromise with your career. There are many options like you can take a break as long as the baby you need. Imagine landing up in a situation and telling your kids that you gave up on your job because of them.  kids of this generation like their parents to be independent so that they can support them in the future how horrible it will sound if they got to know that you gave up on your career for their upbringing.

Mrs. Sangeeta has a similar experience she said: “when I got to know that I am pregnant at first me and my husband was really happy and excited about it but after that, his family asked me to quit the job and join after the baby was born but things don’t turn out as expected my baby is now 6 years old and to be a good mother and take a good care of my child I changed my profession”.

The joint family as well as the nuclear family needs to adjust and cooperate with the working mother for the welfare of a child and should create a healthy family relation and bonding. Well, a child is not only the mother’s responsibility but both partners have to cooperate to give the child a good life.

Dr. Chitra said that she was relieved and happy to join her job back after long maternity leave. It was her dream to become a doctor and she achieved it and also it was a bliss to experience motherhood. Thanks to her supportive husband and in-laws she can manage her personal and professional life.

No matter how many times your family force you for marriage and having kids it’s your decision when you want to get married or have kids. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and having kids is a huge responsibility you should take your decision when you are mentally, emotionally prepared, and financially independent of it.

Feature image is for representational purposes only
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