You cry.
You feel sad.
You remain in the bed for long.
You don’t eat food.
You hear sad songs.
You keep on obsessing about them.
You have trust issues.
Your self-esteem is tarnished.
You give up on things you love the most.
You are sad, depressed and dejected
You curse that person for breaking your heart. You curse yourself for allowing them to treat you that way. You curse yourself for that mistake.
But, wait…
In order to distract yourself from negative thoughts
You read books.
You travel alone.
You meet new people.
You don’t have to feel guilty for finding perfection in someone. You are free to decide. Free to choose.
You fall in love again. This time with more caution but
You again break off
So now you decide to go for casual relationships
You enjoy dating
Now you are bold and smart.
You dont feel attachments untill you vibe with them.
Then slowly you realise, “Oh! That’s not what you need”.
You yearn for emotional connection. But you are not getting it.
And meanwhile, your ex is getting married!
Hell, No!
So you are thinking about revenge.
But you have become a little more mature.
So you want to become smarter, more beautiful, and wittier (that’s your way of taking revenge).
You buy yourself more books and beautiful lipsticks.
You also learn different languages to make yourself appear smarter.
Learning a new language opens up opportunities to get yourself acquainted with the incredible world of literature.
You read poems on love, war and agony.
Oh but literature is not letting you get rid of your past.
But it also makes you realise that until the love is mad, passionate and exceptional it’s not worth it.
You want a lover who writes you letters every day and reads you poems of Sylvia Plath and Frida Kahlo.
Oh, this idealistic stuff is depressing!
Now you want to do something more productive.
The heartaches have caused you terrible agony, you are going through depression.
You find that there is nothing romantic about depression. It’s killing. It’s a malady that has paralysed your happiness. You don’t want it again.
Now you are a little more protective about yourself.
You recognise toxic traits.
The agony is so heart wrenching that you become humble and generous.
But you are still struggling with your career. You are still failing because of not being able to concentrate on your studies. It’s intensifying your despair. But you keep trying. You keep exploring.
While exploring you get to find your passion. You learn about the things that truly make you happy.
You still want an emotional connection because you are human, so you explore people. You try to search soulmates in people you meet. But alas! Failure, here too!
To escape agonies, you travel. You take solo trips, you walk to places you have never been before. You meet new people. You see new things. You learn a new language (Wow! It sounds so fantastic)
You are trying hard but anxieties and despair continue running after you.
The pain has made you a philosopher. Now you can feel everything so deeply.
So now you feel an attachment with everything that is broken. You sympathise with falling leaves. You don’t throw a broken mug into a dustbin.
Your aspirations have changed. You want to do something that is of paramount importance, like reducing poverty or weeding out moral erosion.
Now you want to read about the phenomenal people who have created history. You read their biographies and learn the lessons of perseverance, patience and prayers.
But getting rid of sadness is not that easy. You distract your mind. You find other distractions. You try everything and perhaps out of those distractions you discover yourself.
You find that your career is not doing justice with your personality so you resign and explore other professions (Bravo! If you can survive a heartbreak you can do anything).
You have completely explored yourself.
Now you no more curse yourself for that “mistake”. You realise that them leaving you was all about their miserable selves. It has nothing to do with you.
You realise that you were enough, a thousand times enough.
You are a totally different person now (Now none can fool you in the name of love).
You realise your worth.
You know your strength.
You know your weaknesses.
You become strong. You inspire others.
Now you don’t want to do things for revenge. You have started loving yourself so you want to do things for your own joy and happiness.
You are clear about your goals. You work hard to achieve them.
You realise what you want in your partner.
Now you don’t need a relationship. But you want it.
And when you want something you don’t compromise with the quality.
Now you don’t run after love but you let the love find you.
You have gone through enough unpleasantness, so you don’t want drama and toxicity in your life.
You set boundaries.
You rely on instincts and gut feelings.
You rely on actions and not words.
You want people to be kind and respectful towards you.
You craft your own meaning.
You expand your intellectual horizon.
You sympathise with people and try to heal their invisible woes.
You decide not to break someone’s heart. You learn accountability.
You see the world in an aesthetic way.
You realise that having strong character is more important than reputation.
You don’t want other people to go through the same dejection. So you stand by them. You share your stories.
You become an incredible human.
You grow. You grow beautifully.
Endnote: “Love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble but treasures are hidden amongst ruins. A broken heart hides treasure.” – Shamsh Tabrizi.