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Why Do We Stare When Women Breastfeed Their Babies In Public?

Why is breastfeeding in public such a taboo? Working with tribal communities in Odisha taught the author that breasts needn’t be sexualised. Mothers and babies should have the space to nurse and get nursed, respectively, without being stared at.

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A long line of women, carrying their babies in slings across their chests, balancing eggs and channa on their heads, is a common sight as we travel in a jeep from Swasthya Swaraj’s head office in (Odisha’s) Bhawanipatna to the villages around it.

I noticed that the children are always tied close to their mother’s chests, so that whenever they get hungry, the mother can feed them without any hassle.

Odisha’s tribal communities have normalised breastfeeding in public. Photo credit: Swasthya Swaraj.

On my first visit to the Kaniguma clinic, I volunteered to help the nurses measure the infants’ height, weight, and MUAC (mid-upper arm circumference) details.

As soon as we took the first child away from their mother and placed them on the weighing machine, the baby started to wail.

I Saw Mothers Breastfeeding In Public

After a lot of struggle, we managed to get the required measurements. As soon as we were done, the mother took the baby back in her arms, and they stopped crying.

She popped her blouse open and fed the child instantaneously, without any hesitation.

Half of her breast was visible, so I ran to cover her up, as there were men in the waiting hall. The same incident happened with more than three women, and then it dawned on me: nobody else was running to cover up breastfeeding mothers.

In fact, no one else in the room, including the men, even bothered to look at the mothers feeding their babies. My instinct to cover them up was stemming from my social conditioning.

Magazine In Soup For Breastfeeding Cover

A few years ago, I remember seeing the picture of a woman breastfeeding a child on the cover page of a Malayalam magazine, “Grihalakshmi”. It carried the headline: “Don’t stare; we have to breastfeed.”

That particular issue spoke about the taboos around breastfeeding, elaborating on the associated problems women face. The cover page evoked a lot of debate, outrage as well as appreciation on social media.

Grihalakshmi magazine generated much controversy, in Kerala and elsewhere, for its cover featuring a model breastfeeding.

Reading those articles with my friends, I remember feeling angry and disappointed at everyone who would openly stare, or pass comments, at a breastfeeding mother.

It was only natural for a mother to feed her children when they are hungry. What is the need to hide it?

Women In Cities Don’t Have Space To Nurse

After one month of working in the tribal villages of Odisha, my understanding of myself regarding public breastfeeding was shattered. It was evident that my support was only superficial. If someone would do it before me, I would still feel uncomfortable, and maybe, even react like those people whom I felt angry and disappointed about.

On any given day, breastfeeding mothers are a common sight in our clinics. I began to wonder if I ever saw breastfeeding mothers this frequently in cities, despite their dense population, as compared to villages.

Even in my close circles, breastfeeding in public was never the norm. It was always done in private: in the bathroom, car, backyard, bedrooms, where no one (primarily, boys and men) would be allowed to enter.

I have been in conversations with the doctors here to understand breastfeeding better. I was told that a mother’s breast milk has numerous developmental, nutritional and other health benefits for a baby.

Breast Milk Is The Best Milk For Babies

Human milk is best suited for the baby’s optimal growth. It enhances the baby’s immune system. It is more easily digestible for infants, and hence leads to healthier bowel movements.

Breastfeeding also plays a crucial role in the development of an intimate bond between a baby and their mother.

The merits extend to the mother as well. One compelling reason I heard was that breastfeeding releases oxytocin, a hormone that helps in the contraction of the uterus back to its pre-pregnancy shape and size.

It also reduces the risk of breast cancer and cyst formation. I don’t know if there is a causal link, but in her seven years of work experience in Kalahandi, Dr Aquinas has never seen a case of breast cancer here.

WHO Recommends Breast Milk Too

She mentioned that in a community where starvation, poverty, and malnutrition are starkly present, breast milk is the most cost-effective food parents can provide their babies with.

In my conversations with the tribal women and nurses here, I understood that babies are exclusively breastfed for nearly one year.

For context, the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of a child’s life, and for it to continue along with age-appropriate food until two years of age.

It isn’t easy to find mothers who have exclusively breastfed their babies for six months in cities.

‘Nursing In Public Is Uncomfortable’

During every ride back from the village(s), I would think about how the new mothers in my family or friends circle would feel about breastfeeding in public. My curiosity led me to have intriguing conversations with them.

There are no laws in India that prohibit nursing in public. However, the environment is hostile and far from encouraging.

The most recurrent places the mothers inferred as public were trains, railway stations, bus stops, shopping malls, textile shops, hotels, airports, flights, wedding halls, relatives’ houses, and their own houses when there are guests.

While most of them in my small sample size agreed that they time their outings so that a feeding could take place at home, they also said that they experienced discomfort when they nursed in public, in times of absolute necessity.

Men Definitely Stare, But So Do Some Women

They have often felt outraged when the onus is on them to minimize discomfiting others, protect themselves from the judgement of onlookers, and avoid the unwanted male gaze.

“While I am nursing my baby, I don’t understand how I attract the male gaze as I am only doing what’s natural,” said one of the respondents. Few conveyed how disappointed they felt as even women stare at them weirdly.

Larissa Waters, an Australian politician, breastfeeding her baby in their national senate.

One of the respondents felt embarrassed and it made breastfeeding furthermore strenuous for her. Most have tried to cover their breasts as much as possible or have asked someone to cover them as they nurse their child.

They have all felt highly nervous, commonly, and said that it was uncomfortable for the baby too, as it suffocated them.

Women’s Mobility Gets Restricted

A few of the working mothers in my sample brought in a new perspective. They told me how social restrictions and the unavailability of proper infrastructure to breastfeed the baby have restricted their mobility.

Even though the increase in maternity leave was welcome news for new mothers, many office spaces and public places lack a nursing facility.

At bus stops and railway stations, they are often redirected to smelly, toilet rooms to feed their babies. I was shocked to hear that this has been the case with a few corporates as well.

Many of the respondents chose to stay back home to avoid the discomfort. I understood that these are influential factors for any feeding mother in deciding when to resume work after maternity leave.

Odisha’s Tribal Communities Have Got It Right

A few of them have resorted to other baby foods along with breastfeeding to strike a balance in their lives.

While we often say that tribal communities are socially and economically backward, these societies are much more progressive than us urban dwellers, in many ways. This is just one of the ways that stood out to me in my first month here.

They see breastfeeding as a natural way of living. They respect a mother’s choice to feed her babies without staring, sexualising the breasts, or asking her to go home and feed.

The tribal society is inclusive of nursing mothers who work in the donger (fields), with their babies on slings, whom they feed once every couple of hours, while at work!

Always Support Nursing Mothers!

Letting a mother breastfeed her baby when they are hungry is not rocket science. It’s a basic civic courtesy extended to them both.

It’s high time to have conversations about breastfeeding in public places, in our families, friend circles and offices. We must provide nursing mothers with the infrastructural and emotional support they need.

Let’s start with this–the next time a mother is nursing her baby in a public place, let’s not stare.

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This article was originally published here.

About the author: Rakshikha P is an India fellow working with the Swasthya Swaraj in Thumul Rampur, Odisha, as a part of her fellowship. She is working closely with the doctors, public health managers and social scientists, to support the tribal health and nutrition program through field research and capacity building of the team.

India Fellow applications are now open for the 2022 cohort.

Featured image is for representational purposes only. Photo credit: Swasthya Swaraj.
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