Trigger warning: Mention of domestic violence, mention of miscarriage, mentions of assault
Many years ago, we saw how criticism of a society can take the life of a young photojournalist. Yes, I am talking about Kevin Carter, the famous man who won a Pulitzer Prize for capturing the photo “The vulture and the little girl/The starving Sudanese Child”.
In the picture, he depicted a picture of a little poverty-stricken child’s approach to a nearby rescue (feeding) camp while he was being followed by a hungry vulture. Carter was given the prestigious Pulitzer for his excellence in his career but at the same time, he had to face criticism from the media and public for not protecting the helpless child from the vulture. He was named “A true Vulture”. After feeling depressed for a long time, he died by suicide after some months.
I often feel like the starving Sudanese Child as I, along with my baby boy, are victims of domestic violence at my father’s home, seeking justice for years. There is no law or rule in the world claiming that the son is the one and only legal heir of his father’s property while a daughter is not, as my brother says. He is showing muscle power over me to capture the money and house in his favour.
I am a 40-year-old woman fighting for my right to my father’s property for almost 20 years now. My father passed away while he was in service (Deputy Registrar) at the Visva Bharati University. My father raised us like sons in the open-minded atmosphere of Santiniketan. But after his sudden demise, my mother became our guardian and pension-holder in 2003.
She is mentally ill and guided by her elder son, my elder brother. One of my mother’s weak points is her father’s home as well as her younger brothers and sisters. My youngest maternal uncle is just two years elder than my brother, thanks to the family planning programme that reduced the population in many families at that time.
My professor-brother knows well how to become a millionaire and lead a life full of luxury. Being a professor in a college, he enjoys our father’s pension and property in the name of looking after my mother. He ruined my career as I was a brilliant student of physics and a favourite of my father. But I had to quit my study because of domestic violence within my family. Whenever my exam would approach, my brother would beat me and I would have to live on the footpath frequently.
Our neighbours were sympathetic towards my widow mother and did not help me. The police did not care about the matter as I did not have any witnesses in my family and neighbourhood. In this context, I remember Plato’s saying, “Nobody is more hated than truth speakers.”
My other relatives were silent because most of them are greedy and dependent on my father’s property. One of my paternal uncles got a house built by my father with his job’s salary. And my maternal uncles built businesses with my father’s pension. My fight goes on as the criminal has gone unpunished for years.
Despite this, he is pampered by his mother and relatives who are highly educated and rich. And my condition deteriorates day by day. My share is completely encroached by my family members as my mother has no control over this home. I was trying to find a life partner for myself as my family has no problem spending money on my marriage. My elder sister is not conventionally good-looking and was married with a huge amount of dowry. So my mother and shrewd brother admitted me to a mental hospital and the dream of my arranged marriage was shattered.
In 2014, I decided to run away from home and marry a man who was known to my friend. I took the decision as I had to face sexual assaults and dirty proposals of living on the footpath. I married my husband and told my mother. She seemed very happy, but my brother was disturbed. He started finding opportunities to defame and disturb me again.
When I was pregnant, I came to my father’s home for treatment but my brother beat me up. I bled and had to abort in a local sub-divisional hospital. My husband is not clever to take against my brother, else he would have filed a case against my brother and showed him the prison. I started to capture only two rooms in my father’s home in 2016 and gave birth to my baby boy that year in July. My husband is not able to provide shelter for us and this has caused a debate between us.
I managed for one year in my father-in-law’s home (village) adjusting to a lot of people in a big family. People used to ask about my mother and brother and I had a hard time in a village facing a lot of excuses. My child was hurt secretly by my brother and had a problem learning how to walk. He got better after two years of spending a lot of money on his healthcare, thank God.
Despite these betrays and jealousy, I forgave my mother and brother and helped his marriage from breaking away. And now his wife thinks of us as her big enemy in life. They are so desperate that they threaten to remove my name from the house and registry. Once, they left venomous snakes in the bathroom and asked their domestic helpers to beat us.
My mother doesn’t talk to me and my innocent child is also guided by her son and daughter-in-law. She signed her share on my brother’s name and inspires me to register mine. I have got a heart disease and some tooth problems, but no money to see a doctor. And my brother and his wife spend Rs 50,000-1,00,000 every month on their shopping.
I had complained to the local police and administration but they refuse to take the matter seriously. Our society and administration awaken after some deadly incident like a gang rape or murder, but otherwise, it is hard to get justice in our country, unless you are rich or influential in society. At this point, I feel our society is just like a vulture that indulges in crimes and criminals and does not stand beside people in need.