Over the years, we have heard the words – “Midlife Crisis”. A phenomenon that has taken over the ages between 35 – 45. People make sudden and drastic life changes, taking stock of their achievements, dreams, and goals. So why has this term become seemingly ordinary, especially in the past couple of decades?
Before we jump into the details of why midlife crisis occurs and how it can be dealt with, let us first figure this out.
What Exactly Is A Midlife Crisis?
It is believed that if life is not full of meaningful, joy-filled moments, something is wrong. It is a void that people experience, which neither material possessions nor relationships, amongst other things, can fill.
People from all walks of life, irrespective of their social status, monetary possessions or profession, seem to be facing this void and hold their life situations responsible for this feeling. But is that the underlying reason? Maybe not.
Maslow, the founder of humanistic psychology, known majorly for his concept of “Hierarchy of Human Needs,” said every person has a strong desire to realise their true potential once their basic needs of safety, stability, love, and acknowledgement are met.
They begin to crave a sense of personal understanding and harmony in life. This is apparent in most people, as they experience a dip in happiness, no matter what they have achieved. As a result, they believe external changes will bring in the much sought-after happiness.
“I went through a midlife crisis when I was 43,” says Sharmila. “I felt like I had to change everything about life, so I did precisely that – I changed the colour of my hair, the decor in my house, my lifestyle in every way possible and it did absolutely nothing for me. What helped was working on myself and understanding that I am not alone and it’s normal to go through this.”
Accepting The Situation
Like Sharmila, many people who have gone through a midlife crisis say that acceptance helped them the most, as they started realising that they are not alone. There is thankfully a pattern to this behaviour.
The pattern is assigned many terms: the mid-life slump, crisis, and happiness curve. The concept states that there is a general sense of satisfaction and happiness during the years before midlife. Still, as we grow older, especially during our 40s and 50s, there is a dip in this feeling, leading to a decline in happiness and contentment.
Individuals report an increase in stress, anxiety, and depression. However, as they get older, this general sense of happiness rebounds, and it’s just a matter of crossing the curve. Most people have said that seeing similar feelings shared in cinema, books, and social media has helped them come out of it. For example, the famous books Eat, Pray,
Love by Liz Gilbert and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma delve into this issue. Although not all of us have the luxury to stop our lives for a year and contemplate, what can we do? As Liz Gilbert puts it, let’s find a way for you to – Attraversiamo – “let’s cross over.”
Meditation: A Definitive Way
According to the Mayo Clinic, one of the best ways to manage stress and anxiety, significant factors during a midlife crisis, is meditation and physical activity. In addition, a growing body of scientific research supports the wholesome health benefits of meditation. Not only does it help with gaining new perspective, building skills and managing your stress, increasing self-awareness, allowing you to focus on the present, and reducing negative emotions.
A Fundamental Take
Sadhguru, the famous Yogi and mystic, delves into the more profound human suffering and relates meditation as the solution to all that ails human beings. He says, “Whatever suffering human beings have known, it has either entered them through the body or the mind. Do you have any experience with other types of suffering?”
Isn’t it true that there are only two types of suffering? This is the end of pain once you’ve gained distance from these two things. Simply once you’ve overcome your fear of pain will you be prepared to explore other realms of existence; otherwise, no matter what I tell you, you’re only searching for protection. But if meditation can bring a distance from our body and mind, how can one achieve it?
To our amazement, he has an equally exciting take, “You can never just do meditation. It’s a certain quality. If this quality has to blossom within you, if meditation has to blossom within you, if you cultivate your body, if you cultivate your mind, your emotion, and energy to a certain level of preparedness, meditation will blossom within you.”
As we can see, he is pointing us inwards. Whether one wants to take the path of meditation to solve the crisis or wait to cross the curve, the choice is in our hands. Acceptance and looking for appropriate solutions instead of suffering through anguish will help us get across.